Today in our Bumble for beginners series, we are going to cover messaging. How to send a message in Bumble and what to say. One is very straightforward and one not so much.
Knowing what to say to someone you have never met or who you want to impress will either come naturally or be incredibly difficult. Hopefully, by the time you have read this, it should be more the former than the latter!
Bumble is a very neat dating app. By doing things a little differently, it has elevated the quality of users immensely without alienating anyone through cost or other barriers to entry. It puts the power into the hands of women and only allows women to initiate conversation. This encourages women to use the app as they have more control and forces men to up their game. It’s a win win.
Messaging in Bumble
Messaging in Bumble is very straightforward. After all, the simpler it is, the more likely you are to do it. Once you have matched with someone the conversation can begin. What happens next depends on whether you’re a male or female.
As Bumble puts the power firmly in the hands of women, it is only they who can initiate a conversation. If you both swipe right on each other and you match, only the woman can go from there. As a man, you have to hope that your images and bio is compelling enough to make her want to initiate conversation. As a woman, you can choose whether to chat or not.
If you do want to chat, you will see a notification appear in Bumble if the man had swiped right on you or if he swipes right within 24 hours. You can then initiate a conversation immediately or go to your Match Queue when you have the time. You only have 24 hours to start a chat otherwise you will have to extend. You can only extend a match once so don’t waste the opportunity!
As a male user, you will be notified that you have a match but that’s it. You do not get the opportunity to start a conversation. You just have to wait for the notification to come through.
How to start a conversation in Bumble
So know you know the mechanics of starting a conversation, how about starting that conversation? Some people find it easy to talk to strangers but I am not one of them. I have had to refine my approach a lot in order to not crash and burn. Use what I have learned so you don’t make the same mistakes!
Most people will appreciate that it isn’t easy to start a conversation with a stranger. Sometimes just coming out with it is the best idea. Saying you never know how to start these things off can work in a dating app or on a first date.
Read their bio
You did read the bio before swiping right didn’t you? If you didn’t, do it before starting a conversation. There should be something in there you can use to start a conversation even if it’s a comment about their hairstyle.
Ask questions about their bio
If you read their bio, there may be something in there that makes you want to ask a question. This is the perfect icebreaker and an approach I always suggest people make when writing dating profiles. To provide enough information to attract but to pose more questions than you answer. This is why. Because questions are the perfect way for people to initiate conversation. If the bio doesn’t offer a question, the tried and tested ‘who would win a fight, a racoon or a possum’ or something like that should work.
Ask questions about them
If your Bumble match wears a uniform or has a dog, plays a sport or has something you can use in an opening line, use it. Ask about where they serve, what they do, what their dog’s name is, what position they play or something like that shows interest but also shows you actually looked at more than the initial pic. The answers can unearth their passions and give you real insight into them as a person.
Ask a classic
If all else fails, you could ask a timeless question to get things started. Questions like ‘What three people alive or dead would you most like at a dinner party’, or ‘What is the worst opening line they have ever heard’, ‘If you were to start your own business, what would it be?’ or fall back to TV shows, movies, music or games if nothing else comes to mind.
As you can see, questions are a very effective way to start a conversation on Bumble or anywhere. Got any other suggestions for conversation starters? Tell us about them below if you do!