Only in the movies, each love scene ends with a violent orgasm in both. Looking at such happiness, many couples begin to worry: men suspect themselves of insufficient skill, and women silently yearn for the coveted culmination.
Indeed, the female orgasm, unlike the male orgasm, is complicated, and for a number of reasons it is unattainable for an impressive part of the fair sex. The reasons for this state of affairs and variants of the decision were recognized by the correspondent of SE.
Summarizing data from various studies of female orgasm, one can say that about a third of Russian women have difficulties with orgasm: 13-17% of women have never experienced orgasm, 24-30% experience it irregularly. To the question of the SHE portal “Do you have problems in the intimate life? ” Every fourth reader (24. 59%) noted the difficulty with orgasm.
Are you here! I feel you …
The importance of orgasm for a woman is difficult to overestimate, everyone understands this. “Do I need to say how a woman is transformed if she is sexually satisfied. The orgasmic wave that passes through the body, renews and cleanses the body, is the prevention of many diseases, so the eyes begin to shine in the woman, the body becomes soft and graceful, and she herself is balanced and calm. And a man next to such a woman will be immensely happy – it’s he who gives her so much pleasure, “- says the psychologist, the leading female trainer Anastasia Radaeva.
In practice, in a significant part of women, the aforementioned joys of sex are absent. This kind of problems can arise for different reasons – from anorgasmia (when a woman does not experience orgasm) to the absence of orgasm due to the elemental ignorance of the partner about the preferences of the lover. “These problems are important not to be confused with frigidity,” says Elena Belova, a sexologist at the Avicenna Medical Center. –
Frigidity is a broader concept when a woman basically does not feel like intimacy with a man. This is rare, and it is very difficult to work with, while all other problems with orgasm are solved. ”
In addition, as is known, the female orgasm is different. And problems with orgasm in the vast majority of cases relate to vaginal orgasm: “Clitoral orgasm, if desired, can reach any woman. He can not be only if the woman did not train, did not care about it, “says sexologist Igor Poperechny. Elena Belova adds to this that the trigger mechanism to orgasm is always from the clitoris, and to achieve orgasm, stimulation of the clitoris is necessary. In 10-15% of women, the clitoris is close to the vagina, so when they have a normal sexual intercourse they are able to reach orgasm. There is the term “high standing clitoris”, it has 85-90% of women. With direct sexual contact, the clitoris is inactive and no orgasm occurs, but here the question is only in the technique of sex,
Why is not he here?
Igor Poperechny highlights several reasons underlying the problems with orgasm.
1. Competitive behavior of a woman in relation to a man. There have been a lot of such women recently – they are engaged in active activities, set goals and achieve them, i. e. they are interested in living like a man, fighting men, defeating them. At the psychological level, such a woman denies herself as a woman and does not reveal herself in intimate relationships. To make it work, she needs a man whom she adores, but eventually she will debunk him anyway.
2. The immaturity of women. Outwardly, such women are very feminine, beautiful, well-groomed. But in fact, they do not feel like a woman and on psychosexual development are at the level of a girl, it becomes obvious when she manages to communicate with such a woman. As a rule, they imitate an orgasm. Next to such a woman should be a man who “melt” her, and she can relax and open. Otherwise, the sensations will come when the woman begins to psychologically mature, that is, at the age of 30. Anastasia Radaeva spoke about the origins of this self-awareness: “The ability to experience an orgasm is akin to something hooligan, wild, when a woman allows herself to be natural, spontaneous. If a girl grows a little princess, who is not allowed “liberties” like climbing trees, noisy fun games, then, becoming an adult,
Are you well, damsel?
What can you do to make sexual relations with your partner brighter? According to Elena Belova, you need to talk with a man about how you come orgasm, about your preferences, what turns you on, excites, and vice versa – what actions can “frighten off” orgasm. It is important to know the man, because his excitement will increase in any case, whereas in a woman it can be reduced to zero from the slightest wrong movement of a partner. Feel the moment when such a conversation is appropriate, and share your feelings with your loved one. Do not be afraid to offend him, because it is known that getting sexual pleasure is a very individual matter, and the fact that you are striving to make your sex fuller and brighter will be for him a confirmation of the importance of your relationship.
Anastasia Radaeva recommends before the beginning of this conversation to remain alone with herself and carefully study her body. After all, knowing your sensuality is the basis of a full-fledged sexual pleasure. Where are you especially pleased? What touches cause vivid responses in your body?
Only when you feel yourself, you can feel the partner. Perhaps, you will not need to talk, you just “tell” your body where and how it should move.
It is known that the most important erogenous zone is in the head, therefore sex psychologically, and not physiologically, is a powerful erotic stimulus and gives those strong sensations that are attributed to vaginal orgasm, shifting the emphasis from the psychological component of stimulation to mechanical. And any woman knows – purely mechanical, even the best technique is not capable of causing bright orgasmic sensations. So do not pursue orgasm, give each other a chance to show their tenderness and love.
