26.10.2020

With the help of dating sites, men prove their success, and women are looking for “ears”

“Where, where to find a man?” – a modern girl raises her hands to the sky. And men in the meantime peacefully graze on dating sites and are already mentally plucking not grass, but appetizing forms of future acquaintances. Although, they say, there are so-called “normal” men with serious intentions in the understanding of women – family, children and other attributes of a happy life. The person who can be found on the dating site was recognized by the correspondent of SE. 

Natural selection
With the fact that it is convenient, no one will argue. It sounds cynical, but, firstly, on the dating site you have a greater choice than in the usual conditions, and secondly, the process of sorting and selection is greatly simplified. In addition, those who do not suit you by some parameters are automatically eliminated. About the same, to whom there is interest, you can learn much more than in the usual meeting. The effect of seeming security is working, so people often say things they might not be able to talk about at the meeting. However, you can not do without a fly in the ointment. Security creates a sense of impunity, so a successful businessman can actually turn out to be a simple waiter, and a 20-year-old young man is a retired dreamer living with an old mother. It is not necessary to fall into paranoia and to doubt every word of the interlocutor,

Who’s there? 
On the Internet you can meet different people. According to the psychologist, director of the center “Amalthea” Yevgeny Aleksandrov, all of them are united by problems in the field of communication with other people. The lack of time for a full acquaintance, according to the psychologist, is a simple excuse. 

“As a rule, these are people who have lost their sphere of communication in connection with some situations occurring in their lives,

” says Lyudmila Yurganova, a psychologist at the Insight clinic. An example is the break with a partner with whom a woman had mutual friends. “Then it’s very difficult to quickly find the area of ​​communication, and to quickly start some kind of relationship, you can go to the dating site.”

According to studies of foreign psychologists, women are more likely to suffer as a result of online dating, and through their own fault. Curious by nature, women passion like all sorts of secrets. A mysterious stranger with an ambiguous questionnaire provokes much greater interest than a man with clear and detailed personality parameters. The desire to find someone sometimes is so great that it seems that you and that guy from the photograph have a lot in common. However, in a personal meeting, the “native soul” turns out to be quite an ordinary person with merits that were clearly exaggerated, and shortcomings that were carefully hidden. 

Mice and macho
In order to understand that they are different, it is enough to go to the first dating site – eyed, bald, cute and not very, in cars, kayaks, with biceps and without pants. Nevertheless, there are several types of men that are often found among those who seek love on the Internet.

Type 1. Mama’s son. While other young men were seeing and getting acquainted with the girls, the mamen’s son was doing what Mama thought was necessary, so he simply does not know how to make friends on his own. “Such men are very impressionable and vulnerable. They have a lot of rules and restrictions, they are afraid of refusal, so they are not ready to take risks, “says Lyudmila Yurganova. 

Type 2. Macho. They are presented to you in photos in the most successful foreshortenings, showing a beautiful body or a beautiful car (what is rich, as they say). They are collectors and came to the site in order to replenish the collection with new objects. The more of them – the more confident the macho feels. Such a man is ready for acquaintance and, as a rule, quickly appoints a date and insists on a personal meeting. 

Type 3. Gray mouse.“Because of fears and complexes, such men are afraid of any relationship with a woman, and the Internet is the only place where they can somehow show themselves,” says Evgeni Aleksandrov. As a rule, such men are averse to describing themselves, and in their photographs, if they are, it is not possible to make out anything. And as soon as talking about a personal meeting, the “mouse” again hides in its burrow and avoids communication. 

Type 4. A married man.This is for him the creators of dating sites came up with a variant of the answer “No matter” in the column “Marital status”. “These men have problems in their relationship with his wife,” says Lyudmila Yurganova. – Refrigeration of feelings, lack of understanding or wife’s complaint about his failure in some area. With the purpose of compensatory functions, they go to a dating site to prove to their wife and themselves that they have value in the groom’s market. ” 

As for women, it is difficult to single out special types here. 

“As a rule, women come to dating sites, which are in an intermediate state between old relationships and the tying of new ones. They are trying to find not a partner, a future spouse, but a friend with whom you can talk, which you can trust with secrets. It’s a way to find ears,

– says Lyudmila Yurganova. According to her, women do not count on finding the love of life, rather curiosity works.

Personal data

Internet is simply a paradise for liars and those who unintentionally, but still mislead. To recognize a deceiver (if he, of course, did not finish special courses) is extremely difficult. According to Lyudmila Yurganova, a person who writes about himself is untrue, inconsistent in reasoning, his statements do not have a clear logical chain, or he pays too much attention to his experiences. If the questionnaire is skimpy for details, it is not necessary that you want to be deceived: “Those who write little about themselves, most likely expect that they will be entertained, they give a signal – I am! – and are ready to receive information from those who respond. ” Gossip of the visitors of the dating site, a long detailed questionnaire indicates a more unfulfilled desire to interest. They, in turn, are ready not to receive information, but to give.

Dating in the figures of 
Giant and thin. 
People tend to describe themselves a little better than they really are. According to the results of several large dating sites research it was found out that about half of the men lied about their growth – adding at least 2-3 cm. And more than half of the users of both sexes slightly decreased their weight – by 2 or more kilograms. 

And how do you look?Photography is the most important factor in the question of “write to you or not.” According to the researchers, a female profile with a photograph receives twice as many responses as without a photo, even with a description of the exterior. Blondes have an advantage in this, they are often answered, especially if they have straight long hair. Ladies with haircuts are less popular. As for men, most unlucky owners of red hair – they write less often than others. 

Until death does not separate us. With men who want light relationships, get acquainted 42% less often than with their brethren, set on a serious harmony. With women, on the contrary – lovers of fleeting relationships receive 17% more responses.

The question “Is there love on a dating site?” Is no less important than “Is there life on Mars?”. According to Lyudmila Yurganova, this depends on the purpose for which you will come: “It’s like going to a psychotherapist: who came to complain – will get pity, who came to work on yourself – will get changes. These processes are not always conscious, but if a person is inclined to build relationships, he will find them sooner or later, if he is foolish, he will get it, if he gets hurt and disappointed, he will find the very relations that will disappoint him. ” 

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