Contrary to popular belief, there is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
If you’ve ever been in a romantic relationship or know someone who has then you have probably heard the phrase, “I love you but, im just not in love with you” at some point or another.
Quite a confusing phrase as, how can you say you love someone but in the same breath say you aren’t in love with them?
Let’s be honest, society has made love somewhat cliche. Roses, chocolate, flowers, love songs, the works! Many of us has had to learn the truth about love the hard way. The truth is, love is a universal language and can be felt through time and across oceans. The love you feel for someone at first sight or touch may not be the love you feel for them in the end. We have this idea that romantic love is supposed to stay in its ‘honeymoon’ phase forever but truth is, like the moon it goes through phases.
There will be ups and there will be downs, but that is all apart of the process of learning about one another. Now, during the process of discovery, you may just realize that you are in fact, not compatible with your partner, or you have a different life path and need to be on your own. Sometimes, breaking this to your lover can be the hardest thing in the world, especially because being in love was like living in ecstasy.
It’s completely normal to not be in love with someone but to love them.
I find that sometimes being in love can bring with it a lot of unspoken restrictions and rules created by society’s idea of a perfect kind of love, where simply loving someone gives both you and them the freedom to roam the earth, warm in the knowledge that your love for them is real and everlasting.
Being In Love;
If you have been in love before, you will know what it’s like to fall into a puddle of absolute ecstasy, a pool of bliss. Everything feels right and suddenly your world revolves around another. Home is no longer a place, it is a person. Every minute spent with them is a minute in heaven, no one else matters, no one else compares. You develop an unspoken bond of faithfulness and loyalty. Suddenly you are doing everything in your power to please this person, to impress them, unconsciously trying to extend the ‘honeymoon phase’.
The Process In between;
This process is often seen as the make or break area of a romantic relationship. This is the period where you discover yourself through your partner and vice versa, all while learning and discovering your partner. Serious romantic relationships are mirrors, it will bring out the parts of you which you have not worked on, it will be hard and it will be tough, but if it’s supposed to be it will be. It’s within this period that we sometimes lose the feeling of being ‘in love’ and start to develop a sense of deep love for the other. It’s also important to note that falling completely out of love for someone during this process is also completely normal, no two humans are the same, and no two humans will love the same.
Loving Without Being In Love;
Romantic love is not supposed to be easy. If it were, we would all be with the love of our lives, and if you are, lucky you! True love is a mix of hard work and dedication. Many of us know the feeling of being in love, breaking up, losing contact but still having a deep love for that person. That is the very definition of loving without being in love. It’s a special kind of love, it’s unconditional, and when we experience unconditional love we begin to see and feel the freedom that comes with it. I’m here to tell you that it’s possible and that it’s not the end but rather, the beginning.
So if you are ever in a situation where the person you love tells you that they love you, but are not in love with you, rest assure that you are loved and will always be loved.