Everything is fine
To the question “How are you doing?” We confidently answer: “Everything is in order”, letting others know that we have a good day today. We had a good sleep, because we went to bed on time, found our clothes in the closet in the morning, and not under a chair, left the house in time and got on the bus, and did not get on the roads, and so on. “Order means, in a number of ways, according to the pattern. If the law of analogy and the law of succession are observed, it is easier to orientate, life becomes meaningful, “says psychologist Alexander Zhukov, director of the” Lad “center, who shares his thoughts on the value of order. In the minds of the vast majority, order is a blessing. But why then is not everyone observing it?
• Hello, Mom.Serious role played by family and loved by all psychologists childhood. If the baby sees the underwear hung on the door from childhood and the always dirty dishes in the sink, it’s no wonder that when he becomes an adult, he simply will not notice it. “One of the reasons is upbringing,” explains psychologist, director of the Harmony center Nikita Lozin. “It is important in what environment a person was brought up, that he used to see what he paid attention to.”
• I have a problem.According to the philosophy of feng shui, multifaceted and in many respects controversial, the disorder in the house indicates problems that continue to alarm, but which you for various reasons will not allow. “Some people have a mess in the shower that can be reflected on the desktop. This may be uncertainty in feelings, desires, dissatisfaction with relationships or the absence of close relations, “- confirms the Chinese theory of the practicing psychologist Alexander Zhukov.
• Choleric and Sanguine.Surprisingly, the temperament plays a certain role. If, for example, your male choleric is, it’s silly to scold him for scattered socks. Scolding is generally silly, but more on this later. Due to his temperament the choleric immediately switches from one action to another and does not have time to track all the processes. According to Nikita Lyozin, something similar is observed in a sanguine person – he too can jump from one to another due to the fact that he does only what he is interested in, and washing dishes is difficult to classify as the most interesting in the world occupations. With regard to phlegmatic and melancholic, we can say that in general they are more accurate, since they are in no hurry.
• Riot on the ship.In some cases, inaccuracy is associated with a teenage riot, the ability to which some manage to store for a long time. “This revolt can manifest itself in everything – in clothes, in relation to important figures – parents or superiors. A person shows this all the time – in one or several spheres, “Alexander Zhukov tells of the pitfalls of inaccuracy. It is important that in this case there is always an offender and a protest is directed against him.
It is natural
Often in the role of such an offender is a woman who does not understand why in the apartment here and there are lying various glands, tools, disks and other masculine things. All women’s attempts to break up pieces of iron in size into neat Ikeev’s boxes at best end in nothing, and at worst they can turn into a scandal. “Sometimes what a woman calls a mess, a man calls a natural order. For men, order is when he puts a thing and it lies there. But if the thing moves – it’s already a mess, “- explains Alexander Zhukov.
Psychologists do not recommend spending time on teaching and accustoming an adult to order. The only way to influence in this case is quite boring and requiring considerable patience is your own example.
By the way, it should be used also at the instruction to the order of the child. If you just keep clean, without forcing your partner to do this, after some time (which – no one says) you will feel the result. “When a person is not forced, he is more supportive and at some point will change something in his life. And if you force, then there will be resistance and the opposite effect. It will be just war! “- warns Nikita Lezin. At the same time, there will be an even greater concentration on the character that existed: the one who was in order will be even more fiercely defending his interests, and the one who lived in chaos will unconsciously exaggerate his chaos.
A separate conversation is demanded by so-called creative personalities, which are often not visible due to piles of papers on the desktop, but who insist that such a situation is necessary for the work of a creative person. According to psychologists, they are right in their statement: “Chaos and creativity accompany each other. A truly creative person lives in chaos for a period. It destroys what was before, and creates something new on this chaos, “- says Nikita Lozin. At the same time, at some point the creative person becomes very collected and acts in an orderly and precise manner. Therefore, if your man is a creative person, be patient, and if you emit the creative yourself – explain to the household that the muse and the documents arranged in daddies and shelves are incompatible things.
Work on bugs
If you or someone close to you is tired of spending half a day looking for missing watches or documents, it is important to understand what the essence of the problem is. “Usually a person’s tendency to order is ensured by the fact that he does not postpone business for later. If there is a situation that can be solved immediately, he immediately decides it, “- says Nikita Lozin. Often, a “decent” person has a diary, where he prescribes his plans.
A person who has not collected has no sense of time, he lives “here and now” and hardly imagines where he will be carried by an uneasy evening, let alone two days later.
Such an approach generates a lot of tails and unsolved cases, whether it’s postponed to a customer after a call or left dishes in a sink – this creates chaos in the head and in business.
The first thing you need to start with is scheduling time. “Every person has a lot of things that he did not do, he did not or would like to do. All this is written out and the ordering begins, “says Nikita Lozin. “If a person intentionally prescribes what he needs to do, in the evening he crosses out what he did, and what he did not manage to endure the next day is the first step for ordering.” A person and in his head establishes the order, and in his activities.