Foreign experts continue to refinedly prove that sex is good for health. According to the research, making love will help to cope with almost any problem – improve the sense of smell, reduce the likelihood of a cold and slow the destruction of teeth. Those who for some reason do not engage in sex, less fortunate – will have to go to the dentist. The reason why women remain without curative sex and how this affects their lives, learned the correspondent of SHE.
According to a survey conducted by the SHE, 16% of respondents do not need sex for years, 11% will live from half a year to a year, 19% will suffer from one to two months of abstinence, the most popular answer – from a week to two – almost 30%, stay for 2-3 days 20% of our readers, not a single day without intimacy can not live about 4%.
What is the reason?
The fact that sex in their lives is absent, women who come to see a psychologist or sexologist, are recognized quite often. It can happen for the following reasons:
• There is no worthy. Apparently, men are extremely unhappy with the right of a woman to divide them into fit and disagreeable. And although women sometimes abuse their right to make a choice, thank God, we have it. “A woman is usually more discriminating in sex than a man,” says Maxim Zagoruiko, director of the Anti-Stress Center. – In order to enter into a sexual relationship, she needs emotional affection, she does not want to have sex “with anyone.”
• Psychotrauma.Poisoning in a restaurant, you will not go there any more, however beautiful. Relations that have brought a lot of pain, discourage them from repeating – it’s easier to climb into your shell, plunge into work or devote yourself to a child. “The woman, thus, closes, decides that at the moment she does not need any sex. Her sexual energy, she sublimates in another direction, – says sexologist of the center “Health” Elena Belova. – In this case, you can notice the attention of men, but she deliberately does not go to these contacts. This is often enough. ”
• Just do not need it.There are women, and there are more and more of them that openly declare, and more often anonymously they write on Internet forums, that without sex, life is beautiful and wonderful, they simply do not need it. “At all times in the population there were such women, and a lot. Previously, for them, a socially acceptable and approved way of life was envisaged for society: such a woman could go to a monastery, and there were no complaints against her, “says the psychotherapist Zagoruiko. “At present, it is much more difficult for such women – they can feel inferior, they can be treated as inferior.”
• The husband does not want to. Or can not. Paradoxically, many married women complain about the lack of sex. Misunderstanding and conflicts to his appearance clearly do not contribute.
Myths about hysterics The
growling and nervousness of a neighbor-colleague usually comes down to jokes about hormonal outbursts and dissatisfaction. “There is a myth that a woman needs sex, like water, like air. And if he is not, then she becomes an “irritated hysterical woman.” And if a woman is annoyed, this necessarily means that she is not sexually satisfied, “says Maxim Zagoruiko.
“Probably, the appearance of this myth is connected with the vulgar understanding of psychoanalysis and with the cult of sex that is present in our society: it is believed that” sex is very important, it should be many, and if it is not, it is just a disaster. “
To convince myself that this is a catastrophe is extremely simple – it is sad enough to leave a dumbfounded friend: “Yes, already six months, imagine?”. Or look for signs of an irritated hysterical person – you will find them. Or see your value solely through the prism of sexuality: no sex – no value. There are many ways, there would be a desire.
“If a woman has a high need for sex and she is not satisfied, while for some personal reasons a woman thinks that self-satisfaction does not need to be included, she certainly can be nervous or even show aggression,” Elena Belova notes. But there are enough women who do not react so sharply to having sex in their life. Therefore, coarseness on the part of a colleague is not necessarily related to the absence of sexual detente – it may simply be badly educated or bad-tempered.
Harm and benefit
There is no consensus among experts about whether or not abstinence is harmful or mental health is beneficial. It all depends on how you yourself feel about this period in your life. “You can abstain from sex for the rest of your life. This will not do any harm to the psyche, if you do it consciously and do not “hysterize” about it, – says the therapist Zagoruiko – an example of this – the monks: both Buddhist and Christian. Some truly religious women consciously “pacify their flesh”, refrain from sexual contacts. At the same time, they live a rich spiritual life and experience a lot of moral satisfaction. ” Elena Belova recalls the warnings of gynecologists – as a result of abstinence, stagnant phenomena in the pelvic organs are possible: “There is no utility in this. Our body has certain needs
To be in tone and feel sexy, it is not necessary to resort to sexual contacts, the trainer in tantra Peter Ostrikov says: “Sexual energy exchange occurs not only in physical contact. A woman can receive sexual energy when communicating with a man. ” When one door closes, another opens. According to Peter, the lack of sex in the life of a woman can bring new discoveries: “All practices known since antiquity are aimed at the transformation of energy when it is translated into more subtle components. This is always the case with purposeful work – healing, clairvoyance, creativity. With the help of saving sexual energy, other centers are opening up. “
Do not give up sex or engage in it because of new trends or stereotypes in society. “It’s important to be able to feel your body, your desires – including sexual ones,” says Maxim Zagoruiko, “and have sex when you want, and as much as you want. And not when it should, when it’s necessary. For example, in order to match the “high rank” of a full, sexual, sensual woman. “