In theory, self-esteem is the self-evaluation of a person. In fact, it is the totality of assessments that others give out to you and which you distribute to them. Instead of taking care of themselves, everyone is engaged by someone else. The best way to raise self-esteem is to find someone who is worse than you: it is thicker, dumber, scarier – well, everything, you can live peacefully, love and work. But this proven method has a short action and requires a constant make-up.How to raise self-esteem without the help of other people with their shortcomings, the correspondent SHE found out from yogis, dancers, creators, orators and, of course, psychotherapists – where without them.
1. Keep a diary like Pythagoras
In no event is a 10-page groaning about why he does not call, but Pythagoras’ diary. “Pythagoras recommended his students to write down all the good things that happened during the day. Everything depends on the inner accent, what exactly I notice in my life – failures or good events, and accordingly I form such events, “says Invika, a teacher at the Krindachi School. Krindachi use the concept of the school “Blue Pencil” – to mark a successful, not a mistake, as it is accepted in the school of the “Red Pencil”, in which we all once studied.
It is necessary to find at least three positive events per day, which in itself invigorates, and then Pythagoras’ diary can be re-read with the threat of depression – instead of chocolate cakes and shopping.
2. Do not treat anything like yoga
Self-evaluation of yogis – sounds a little exotic, is not it? They are a priori happy – without it at all. “Low self-esteem arises in people, because they do not know themselves, but live at the expense of other people’s opinions. Yoga helps you to look inside yourself. Through the calm of the mind, the expansion of consciousness, you gain access to your intuition and understand that you are much more than just a physical body. “- Yevgenia Glazunova, director of the Veda Yoga Center, says that with the help of yoga one can stop paying attention to the opinions of others and finally pay attention to yourself – and there are so many interesting things.
3. To create spontaneously, like frost on the skin
Now there are a lot of creative schools for adults – artistic, acting, musical, theatrical – and thematic parties, where people can show off their talents. At the party at the Guevara club, the finalist of the karaoke contest admitted that every Thursday she wakes up and waits for the evening when she comes on stage and sings for 100 points. And it does not matter to whom it works – it’s a superfinalist here.
“When a person sees that he can do something he never suspected, then he begins to believe in himself that maybe he can do everything,” explains Liliya Dmitrieva, organizer of the “Group of spontaneous creativity.” – When people who did not write, suddenly start writing poems, from which the frost on the skin, of course, it exalts a person. “
4. Speak as Scheherazade
In periods of attacks of self-esteem, people often say stammering or so quietly that they always have to ask again – all from a sense of own insignificance.
“A woman who has mastered the oratorical art, all the men begin to listen.There are such people: it does not matter what they say – they are just nice to listen to. And you already want to leave, but still you are listening, listening, listening,
– how to become a modern Scheherazade, says Dmitry Bizyaev, administrator of the Siberian Center of NLP-technologies. Speech courses teach proper breathing, intonation, relieve tension from the vocal cords. If you urgently need to gain confidence, and a treacherous lump is stuck in your throat, people who work with speech (speakers, for example, who often teach such courses) are advised to breathe out slowly, exhaling with warmth, as if trying to warm their hands, pee and make a couple of harsh ones expiration belly.
5. Dance like go-go / stripper
Many people call dance the best way to reveal femininity. Dance, if you let him go from the heart and just let go of emotions, brings joy, the eyes begin to burn, and the calories burned.
“You just need to find your” direction “: someone closer to hip-hop, and someone go-go. The main thing is to enjoy the lessons, then everything will turn out, – reveals the secret Svetlana Petsukh, the choreographer of the modern dance studio SHAKE IT. – To me for training often come quiet, modest girls who do not know how to dance. It’s hard to believe, but along with dance skills, their self-confidence also grows. Dances, perhaps, are the most pleasant remedy for the complexes. ” Indeed, why such a desire of girls without financial problems to dance half-dressed in front of hundreds of strangers? Healthy exhibitionism and a powerful replenishment of self-esteem.
6. Photographed as a movie star
A more innocuous, simple and easy form of recharging exhibitionism is a professional photo shoot. Well, let the photoshop, because only the photographers know how much of it, this photoshop, on the covers of glossy magazines.
“Of course, there is a positive psychotherapeutic effect from contemplating your beautiful photo. Each girl seeks to join this art and show herself at the same time – see what I am, “says Igor Poperechny, director of the Center for Medical Sexology and Psychotherapy.
7. Loving Tantra, as in “Avatar”
Low self-esteem often haunts people who are single, suffering without a second half. The trainer in tantra Petr Ostrikov advises to start with himself: do not wait until you are loved, and nurture love within yourself – and self-esteem will grow as a result: “When love lives inside, the need for confirmation from others disappears. As long as we separate ourselves from the world, love can not grow. The world is one – this idea is a red thread in the film “Avatar”, where the tribe lives in harmony with the world.
Everything that is in me is outside, and everything that is outside is in me, “Peter advises to go on such an expensive course of meditations and viewing the Avatar to this enlightenment.
8. To have pleasure as it is necessary
And, finally, it is important to remember that the increase in self-esteem as a whole occurs in two ways: spontaneously from an accidental compliment or your purposeful actions. “Increasing self-esteem is overcoming oneself,” says Andrei Zberovsky, a Krasnoyarsk psychologist. – It’s easier for someone to correct a figure, to engage in sex with someone, to realize oneself at work. For the improvement of self-esteem meets the pleasure center, he alone – whatever the activity goes, the result is reflected in one think tank. ” As options, the professor advises women to: master the techniques and techniques of intimate games that previously seemed unthinkable, jump from a bungee or a parachute, conquer a mountain peak or a deep cave, obtain and plant a rare plant – in general, more extremes. In non-ordinary natures