Summer, which is expected in Siberia with a special impatience, finally came. It’s time to think about vacation. Well, if under the full vacation you and your lover mean the same thing.
And what if not? You prefer foreign museums and a hotel of at least “three stars”, and he is a lover of tents and alloys in Katun. Or, on the contrary, it does not represent a holiday without the sea, and you are quite satisfied with the native dacha with a forest and a lake nearby.
At the very beginning of the relationship, such questions arise rarely – at the initial stage they give way much more easily and more often. Watching dreams crumble is extremely unpleasant, insisting on their own – fraught with conflict and spoiled leave. Some couples find a way out of this difficult situation – they rest separately from each other.
You go to civilized rest to comprehend secrets of ancient cities, and your husband goes to stormy Katun for sharp sensations and porridge from a kettle. A week later, meet, full of new impressions and photos.
Separate rest does not always happen of its own free will – it is often a forced measure. If you go on vacation in June, and your spouse is released only in August, you can, of course, spend your vacation at home in anguish and loneliness, waiting in the evenings of your lover. And you can go to another city to visit your friend. But be prepared for the fact that in August your half will require compensation.
Traditionally, women are accustomed to wait – men spent a long time on hunting, participated in military campaigns. The woman was sitting at home, engaged in children and did not even think about going on a trip unaccompanied. A modern woman can afford to travel in proud solitude – both financially and psychologically. In progressive France, for example, to separate rest are quietly – should the couple rest from each other. And Italians and Greeks are more conservative – they try to rest with their whole family.
Pros of separate rest
Fans of separate recreation argue that it positively affects relations. Even if you see only in the evenings, often a couple of years together life is like a “groundhog day”. You come at seven, he comes at eight, you dine, ask how the day went, he answers, the dishes are washed-it’s time to watch TV and sleep. No phone calls to you until two in the morning, no walks under the moon. Where is the anguish in the chest? Where is the exciting expectation of the meeting? All this can be obtained with interest, resting in different places. “Provisional separation is useful,” said Karl Marx, “for constant communication generates the appearance of monotony. ”And if you add emotions to the languor and excitement about what, interestingly, he is now engaged in, then you will have enough thrills even on the quietest rest. Although this is an amateur.
Full-fledged relationships do not imply a round-the-clock duty next to your beloved. The human soul craves the new – knowledge and impressions. If you, in addition to being bored, fill the relationship with new emotions, you will still be interesting to each other.
In addition to high goals such as the reincarnation of love, there are fairly simple pluses – an expansion of horizons and banal rest. It’s hard to rest on fishing when you hate mosquitoes – for this you need to really love fishing. It’s equally difficult to enjoy the rest when your loved one is unhappy and deeply unhappy. A wretched man can do any little thing – from hiking to clothing shops to weeding the garden patch. It turns out that with one shot you make two people happy at once – yourself and your loved one. But is it really so?
If you check your partner’s mobile phone every day, if you shudder from any female name in his job stories, it’s better to forget about separate rest, otherwise your rest and harsh everyday life of your loved one will turn into a real hell. What kind of shopping can be talked about, if he’s alone there, unattended ? ! The same principle operates in the opposite direction. If your man wants to control you and, like Othello, suffers from jealousy, do not even think of offering a break from each other. It does not matter that you still have not gone anywhere. Now your lover has every right to suspect you of possible treason.
There is an opinion that separation serves as a kind of anchor of love. This does not always happen. Rest from each other can give the opposite effect – and then what could be glued together through a constructive dialogue, attempts to understand each other, will be lost forever.
If there is no contradiction, lovers try to spend as much time with each other as possible. The idea of a separate holiday just this contradicts. Her supporters argue that a man and a woman are not half, but full-fledged individuals and individuals who must think primarily about themselves and their needs. And therefore he goes to the east, and she – to the west.
In the presence of children, their interests should also be taken into account. It is unlikely that the child will have a desire to relax from his mother or father. Usually it happens on the contrary – the presence of all family members causes joy and a storm of emotions.
Well and the most terrible – resort novels which can occur not only on a resort. You will be told about it in your colors by girlfriends, as soon as they find out that you sent your blessed one (! ) On vacation. Having heard such horror stories, even the most trustful wives begin to doubt their husbands.
Or maybe all the same together?
The holiday is created for rest and relaxation. To force a man to shop, when he dreams of conquering mountain peaks, is not very humane. Do not the interests coincide? Discover the atlas – there are a lot of amazing places in the world. If you want, you can find a corner of civilization with a wonderful nature and have a great time together.
According to psychologists, solving family problems with the help of separate rest is just an illusion. Separation is inherently incapable of uniting. The attempt to escape from family problems only delays their decision. The basis of strong relations is not at all a bright individuality and a search for novelty, but similar values and common goals. And on what background will family photos be made – on Katun or in Ibiza – not so important …