One of the great things about dating apps is that you can cast your net wide and can match with people you would never otherwise meet. One of the negatives about dating apps is that you can match with people you would never otherwise want to meet. You can tell a lot from a dating profile but you cannot see everything.
If things don’t go so well, how can you extricate yourself from the situation? How can you unmatch on Bumble? How can you stop chatting if the conversation isn’t to your liking? How can you escape from a bad date without being rude?
Dating is a minefield of behaviors, expectations and emotional responses you cannot predict. That is what makes it such fun but also such a challenge. Today we will be covering those times when things don’t go quite according to plan. Here are some suggestions of ways to handle online dating when things go wrong.
Unmatch on Bumble
Depending on where you live, you may have hundreds of potential matches or just a few. You may get so used to swiping left or right that you end up doing it unconsciously. So what happens when you swipe in the wrong direction? Not all apps will allow you to undo your swipe and you won’t always need to.
If you swiped right on someone you didn’t mean to, that doesn’t mean you have to contact them. You could just ignore the match and either not contact them or not respond to the chat. Most people using dating apps will be used to that behavior and will likely just move on.
Bumble is one app that allows you to undo your swipe either to match or unmatch. If you swiped right on someone you didn’t mean to, you can unmatch on Bumble by shaking your phone immediately afterwards. If you swiped left and meant to swipe right, you can do the same. These are called Backtracks and you have three of them at any one time.
How to stop a conversation when it starts to go wrong
Most of us have been there. We are chatting to a super-hot match online and conversation either takes a turn for the bizarre, the bad or the downright ugly and it’s time to end it. How can you do it without coming across rude or giving the other person an excuse to behave worse?
The easiest way is to just stop chatting with them. To close the app, delete the conversation and move on. This avoidance technique won’t work for everyone, especially if you’re the type who doesn’t want to be rude or doesn’t want to be looking over their shoulder. Honesty is always the best policy but sometimes it is the most problematic, especially if you don’t actually know who you’re dealing with. Sometimes avoidance is best.
Other ways to handle it is to just say you have to be somewhere. End the conversation on a positive note like ‘it was nice chatting but I have to be somewhere soon.’ Most people will accept that as we all have lives outside of our phones.
How to escape a date that is going badly
Most of us will have been here too. A date that seemed so promising and then crashed so hard. Either by behavior, awkward conversation, intrusive friends or something else. So how do you escape without being rude or opening yourself up for more negativity?
There are two ways I use to manage this. The first is to always have a time-limited first date. Like a coffee in the afternoon, a lunch date, a drink after work or something like that. You only have a finite amount of time for lunch or have to get the bus or subway home. Both of which are the ideal, non-confrontational way to end a date without wasting too much time.
The second way to manage dates is to set a limit. Something like ‘I’m free for dinner but will have to be home by 9 as I have to give a presentation early the next morning’. If the date goes badly, you can escape in your prearranged manner. If the date goes well you can then earn more points by staying longer and saying you’re having too much fun to go home early. Either way you leave on a positive note.
The tried and tested feigning illness, getting a buddy to call you, to say you’re tired or getting a friend to ‘crash’ the date are all effective but are also transparent. Use them or not depending on how you want the other person to feel.
Dating really is a rollercoaster and whether you need to unmatch on Bumble or escape from a date that has taken a turn for the unreal, you now have a couple of ways to do it. Got any stories about escaping bad dates you would like to share?