In the bookstores there are shelves, the number of books on which can compete with the opuses of Daria Dontsova. “How to become a bitch”, “Practical bitchiness”, “I want to be a bitch” – are full of names of the book. Google’s search engine for the query “bastardology” dumps a huge amount of texts on the formation of a real woman and others “seduce, fall in love, keep.” In addition, there are courses on the above topic, where, according to instructors, women learn to be happy. The correspondent of SE decided to find out the details of the new science called bitch.
In general, “bitch” is a concept from those that are difficult to define. There was a time when the word “stinker” (from the other words Russian) denoted nothing but a corpse. “The corpse of a dead animal, cattle; carrion, corpse, dohyatina, fall down, dead, scorched beast “- Vladimir Ivanovich Dahl does not stint on the definitions. Later, another meaning was added to this meaning: “a mean man, a scoundrel” (Ushakov’s dictionary). In general, and now they can call a mugger wife or an extremely unpleasant woman who sweeps everything in her way. However, recently this word has ceased to be abusive and even acquired a halo of attractiveness.
Bites began to be called women with the need to dominate (inherent in men), they are not afraid of competition and struggle and cheerfully go to their goal, without looking around.
“In the Soviet era, men dominated the society – and now there is a riot, a reaction to male domination,” explains the psychotherapist, director of the Anti-Stress Center Maxim Zagoruiko, explaining the change in attitude towards bitch. “In the difficult times of the 1990s, some women have adapted to the environment better than men.” Despite the obvious changes and generalized feminization, the society is still suspicious of women who have taken the traditionally male model of behavior as the basis.
“Modern girls are brought up in a situation of acute mistrust of the sexes. In addition, the competition between men and women has increased, “said psychologist Alena Sagadeyeva, the leading trainer of the School of Stervology. – In these circumstances, a successful, independent and free woman causes fear in men and envy in women. Moreover, the woman herself has problems with finding a common language with the environment. This entails tensions that others read as aggressive. Hence the bitch. ”
Black holes, white spots
However, the mysterious appeal of the image of a female bitch is connected not only and not so much with an uncommon inner strength and the ability to fight on a par with men – these women are much less interested in modern women than success with the opposite sex.
“Everyone wants to be cared for by men,” says the doctor-psychotherapist, director of the medical center “Markutun” Marina Markutun.”Today they are less and less likely to do so, and the behavior of a bitch, around which someone is always curling, seems to be the universal secret of the conquest of a man.”
The image of femme fatale, the mistress of the state, always excited and attracted men. Elusive, mysterious, they forced the men to suffer, while not letting them stop, stimulating to further feats on the way to the unconquered summit.
This “unconquered” writer Victor Erofeev calls a black hole, which every woman has. The black hole, according to Erofeev, is a source of female mystery, unpredictability and illogicality. If the light energy in a woman balances the black hole, this woman gives more than she takes. “There are few such women, and they are just as sacred as Mother Teresa,” the writer says. – Much more than those who have weak light energy and a small black hole. These are meek creatures. Men quickly get bored. Another thing – a bitch. There is no healthy light energy in it, but there is a big black hole in it, which you constantly, wringing your head, ask the question: “Why would it?”.
However, according to Marina Markutun, a man is next to such a woman until he tries to figure out why he does not get the usual reaction. “In fact, the vast majority of bitch men feel and do not approach them at all,” the psychologist continues. – There is another category – they still try, but soon realize that they do not need it. ” A long time next to a bitch can be a man who does not believe in himself and, trying to get a response, is looking for reasons in himself.
Is the bitch happy?
According to Marina Markutun, bitch – emotionally cold people, not capable of love and empathy. However, the bitch does not necessarily beat the dishes and hysteria for any reason – on the contrary, calmness and discretion allow it to manipulate and manage the situation. Nevertheless, such women are hard to call happy. They are very often alone, adds Maxim Zagoruiko, they do not risk disclosure, they are afraid to show themselves, that is why they lack a sincere relationship:
“A woman who calls herself a bitch, challenges – showing that this can not be done, but she still does it. Aggressive bitchiness is a condom from intimacy, such a woman contacts other people through a rubber wall. “
Seeking to attract and manipulate men, such a woman does not think about further development of relations – the process, the game itself is important. Many men accept the challenge, wanting bright, keen sensations, adrenaline, which in abundance give all the suffering female bitch.
Bites in Novosibirsk
As a result of careful searches in the capital of Siberia, one Internet community was found where bitch gathers, and one “Bastard School”, where, in theory, they are taught how to become them. In a bitchy community on NGS-diaries, there was very little useful information, mainly discussions about peeling muzhiks and strong women. “The school of bitchiness” on closer examination proved to be a serious psychological program (from the Gestalt approach to psychodrama), quite expensive (6.5-7.5 thousand for three days), which has nothing to do with primitive texts from books with “bitchiness” content.
“This name is usually answered by women who are already furious with the burden of negative, destructive experiences and trying to somehow cope with it,” says Alena Sagadeeva, the leading trainer of the School of Stervology. – Often women are overwhelmed with resentment, anger, irritation or fear. They are no longer fit to change anything, but it is necessary to change a lot, if not all. “Sterlovology” sounds like a kind of permission to let yourself be yourself. As in the company of anonymous alcoholics, the first step is to recognize that you are an alcoholic. That is, the name is the balance between the opportunity to be happy and the desire to be right. ”
Despite similar bright ranks, stinkers on diaries and bitch-“schoolgirls” achieve their goals in various ways: first through the war and aggression towards the world around them, the latter through the search for common interests and cooperation.
However you aspire to become happier – with the help of books, trainings or new-fangled words with the value of a flip-flop, try to penetrate the essence of the phenomenon and try it on yourself. After all, the situation of an acute conflict with the surrounding world, perhaps, will add new emotions, but it is unlikely to make life harmonious.