If for each simulation in bed, women, like football players, were given yellow cards, I’m afraid more than half would have been kicked out of the field long ago.
But in sex, the rules are not as tough as in sports, there are no judges who follow the game and whistle violently, incriminating scammers. Perhaps that’s why the overwhelming majority of women used this trick at least once. Some people even get used to it. Why do women pretend to be in bed, and what is the result of regular pretense, SHE correspondent learned.
What women do not do to attract men – increase eyelashes, wear bras with liners, make lip tattoos … The truth is revealed gradually, so that a man is used to it. About deceit in bed, learn much less often, but it occurs more often than innocent pranks with cosmetics and push-up.
“If under the simulation of orgasm we mean imitation of orgastic experiences in contact with a partner, then almost 100% of women are engaged in it.
But if we talk about simulation as the only way to orgasmic experience, then the percentage is much lower, “says psychotherapist Igor Lyakh. According to him, we can distinguish three groups of simulating women: 1) do not reach orgasm in general and always imitate it; 2) imitate only with a partner, but are able to experience orgasm alone and 3) do it infrequently, from time to time.
Are you frigid?
All sexologists unanimously assert that imitation of orgasm is a very common phenomenon that is characteristic of established couples when partners know each other well and when a woman either can not reach orgasm or understands that it takes too much time and wants to speed up the process.
Most often the reason is that a woman does not want to offend a man. Seeing his efforts and knowing about his problems with orgasm, it’s easier to simulate him. The second reason – a sense of shame and complexes due to lack of orgasm. “Currently, sex life is given great importance and a woman who does not know how to achieve it, the man becomes uninteresting. Women are afraid to admit, and there is a simulation, “- explains sexologist Lyubov Nesterova.
Very quivering attitude of men to the female orgasm makes you lie straight in the eye, just do not see the frown and not to hear the question: are you frigid?
“Men are beginning to say terrible things,” says Elena Belova, a sexologist at the Avicenna Center. – “Is it always with you? And with the others? “Or” Maybe you go to the doctor? “.
And the standard phrase – “Well, I do not know, all the women with me experienced orgasm before you, apparently you are some kind of frigid,” continues Belova. – The fault vector is always easier to direct to another person. For this reason, to avoid disagreement, women orgasm simulate. ”
I’m not guilty
Although men are often blamed for callousness and lack of interest in a partner, for most men it is important that a woman feels during sex. And any signals that indicate satisfaction, only enhance the pleasure of a man. Women know about this and actively use their knowledge. Scientists from the University of Central Lancashire asked women questions about the sounds that they publish during sex, and also asked why they continue to publish them, if not experiencing orgasm. With all the variety of groans, cries and growls, it turned out that most women in case of lack of orgasm try to influence the partner with the help of sound accompaniment. The man sees that the partner is good, and with a sense of accomplishment completes what he started.
The presence of orgasm in a woman, according to Igor Lyakh, affects the moral aspect of the sexual process: “Since very often sexual relations occur at the level of manipulation, the so-called hidden prostitution position (that is, sex is what a man needs), then the hidden sense of guilt for what he wanted and had, is removed with the help of a female orgasm. Both enjoyed it, so no one should. ”
Such a mechanism makes men very sensitive to the female orgasm – in case of his absence, a man can feel guilty.
Can a man recognize cheating?
Most men are confident that they recognize cheating even with their eyes closed. Women, wise with experience, argue the opposite. Even specialists disagreed. “Men are often able to recognize cheating,” says Igor Lyakh. – Because the qualitative imitation of orgasm requires a lot of effort, some groans and cries are not enough. It is necessary to imitate cyclical reductions in the vaginal area and some other points that can not be imitated. ”
“Men usually claim that they will not pass such a number, and they always find out if the partner is pretending. But nothing like this, it is very difficult to recognize, a woman can simulate an orgasm fairly reliably. Up to the contractions of the vagina, “- retorts Elena Belova. It is supported by Lyubov Nesterova, who says that it is possible to simulate for an infinitely long time, especially if the woman is a good actress.
Plus to the minus
The consequences of pretending in bed is unambiguously hard to say – it depends on each partner individually and the ways of interaction in the pair as a whole. “On the one hand, there is an opinion that the simulation is unacceptable, the woman is silent and does not give information to the man – what to do with it, so she got an orgasm,” says Lyubov Nesterova. – But there is another opinion – that the simulation of orgasm, if a woman artistically does this and tries to develop it psychologically, in the end, it will lead to the fact that it really will arise. ” Everything depends on the goals pursued by the woman.
“In some cases, the imitation of orgasm can even have a positive effect on the relationship,” Igor Lyakh cautions. –
Sometimes some men, even realizing that this is an imitation of orgasmic experiences, feel a sense of gratitude for this illusion. ”
Nevertheless, imitation, like any other lie in the relationship, is a delayed-action mine. She can jerk not only when a woman gets tired of pretending or when a man finds out about it. If pretense is a habit (more than 50% of sexual contacts you feign) is an excuse to turn to a specialist – stress accumulation can complicate the relationship in a pair. “For a full-fledged sexual life, one must be frank,” Lyubov Nesterova is sure. – Absolutely frigid women are rare – often a zone of sensitivity is not defined. Just do not be lazy. Sex – this is also a certain work. And if the log lies and simulates, nothing good will happen. “