May 20, 2024

When it comes to embarrassing phone notifications, timing is key

My best friend in high school was in the process of being grounded and having his phone taken away and as he was handing over his phone to his mom he got a text from me that said “Hey I found your mom’s dildo” accompanied with a picture of a medieval battering ram.

About history

He told me that they both saw it, right as the transaction was taking place, then held each others gaze silently for what he described as an eternity.

My in-laws are EXTREMELY religious, we just got them their first iphone (first smartphone ever), and in the middle of me showing her parents how weatherbug works (WE were outside smoking, wife was not), she texted me a spread eagle shot from the bedroom with the words “i cant wait for them to leave so i can literally suck the soul out of you”…. fucking. awkward.

They left 15 minutes later…

I got subscribed to Yandy Lingerie texts after I ordered something from there. Really annoying as they don’t tell you how to unsubscribe.

I was at work and a parent was looking at some of the pictures I had taken of the field trip we took the kids on and a message pops up “SEXY CROTCHLESS PANTIES ON SALE! ”

I was mortified.

Team Jimmy Joe

My ex’s tinder notification popped up on her phone while she was showing me her pics on holiday. That was funny…


I believe this was a drunken reminder to remember bread. I found it amusing until I noticed my client’s blank non-reaction.

My bf has a friend that I have always suspected is in love with him. Once she was showing me something on her phone and a text from her mom popped up saying “I still don’t understand why you can’t get with bf’s name. ” We pretended it didn’t happen.


I communicate with my doctor through an app, so he can message me whenever he needs to – it’s pretty awesome.

Anyway, I’m a new patient of his and he had me do all the standard tests just to get up to speed on my health.

So I’m showing a meme to my gf and suddenly a notification pops up on my phone saying, “We have your HIV test results. ”

Once I explained it was fine, but it was awkward at the time.

“I’ll fuck you like the little cum-slut you are”. I’m a guy, and my male friend sent me this as a joke response to something I sent him. My dad was looking at the phone when the message arrived.

I was showing my friend this dream dictionary app and how it worked. I clicked on a random day to show him it keeps a history for you and he yelled, “YOU DREAMT ABOUT DIARRHEA? ! ”

When hubby and I were starting our fertility struggle, I downloaded one of those apps that tracks your period and ovulation and such. It occasionally would send messages saying it was a good time for sex.

As I did dishes, surrounded by 6 aunts and uncles, my 90 year old grandmother, my parents, and a mess of older cousins, my phone dinged. Thinking it was about a work emergency that had popped up, I asked my uncle nearest my phone to grab it and read it off to me while I scrubbed a pot.

“Your phone says it’s a good time to have sex…. ? ” Oh the laughing.

My best friend and I used to have a code word for situations where we shouldn’t be sending each other inappropriate stuff. So whenever one of us sent the word “crisco” it means someone was looking at our phone and to keep it PG. We picked this word because one time my dad was fixing my phone and she sent, in all caps: “DID YOU KNOW IN ANCIENT TIMES THEY USED ANIMAL FAT AS LUBE SO THEY COULD FUCK EACH OTHER IN THE ASS? ”

I was waiting for a job interview and the interviewer was late. Being panicky and nervous for it already, I was texting my friend every detail of what was going on, which included the interviewer’s lack of timeliness. He shows up, we talk, I’m showing him something on my phone, and my friend texts me back about how unprofessional it is to be late as an interviewer. I didn’t get the job.

I was at work giving a presentation. My laptop showing on the big screen. I had neglected to turn off the Dropbox app. My friend, with whom I shared a folder, uploaded a file to it.

The message box popped up

“The file ‘Hey, Ass Head. wav’ has been uploaded to your Dropbox”

The first couple months of my marriage we lived in different states because there was no sense in moving my husband out of the barracks for three months. I was working fast food at the time and i was walking up to the front of the store while closing when i got a text from him. Naturally i opened it and it was a dick. My manager was behind me and started yelling about inappropriate texting at work.

Tldr: my manager saw my husband’s dick.

Father and law and I are looking at picture on my phone.

Wife texts me, banner on the top of the phone, “I’ve been a bad girl… I need a spanking… or maybe just a hard fucking? ”

Dude looked at me, I answered, “what kind of daughter did you raise? ”

He didn’t laugh as hard as I think he should have.

Was riding in the car with a coworker when my wife texted. Told siri to read it. Huge mistake. Wife texted to bitch at me about leaving dingleberries in the shower drain.

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