The sex sphere is open, there is a lot of talk about it in movies and TV, but when it comes to the process, there is a paradox: many are embarrassed to admit that something is not good, somewhere it is uncomfortable or the partner does something wrong.
Not every man, especially if the girl likes him, will directly say that it is he who does not like having sex with her. And to admit it is even more difficult. The fact that men do not like in bed, and that we, women, with this do, learned the correspondent of SHE.
Six female mistakes, capable of destroying good sex
1. The girl and the log
Endless hit among the male responses – this is the great image of the girl-log. If a man, having sex, can not understand if the girl is alive under him, the second time he will not want to try to penetrate into the secrets of her soul. There are cases with logs in many men, especially if the girl is inexperienced (she does not really want sex).
As said Omsk sexologist Anatoly Pakhalkov, if the girl does not have strong inclinations to the expressed sexual desire, then due to a weak sexual constitution, it will only develop sexually by the end of the second ten. And for her is especially important gentle and understanding partner.
The second reason is an elementary lack of feelings and love. For those men for whom sex is not yet an occasion for acquaintance, “logs” are found more often – and no wonder. “If there is love, even in a girl with a weak constitution, the body begins to act in addition to her will and experience,” – the psychologist recalls a simple thing: if you can not have sex without feelings, then you should not look for those guilty. The answer is obvious: work first on relationships, and sex will follow.
2. Cute little talker
Only a woman is able to have sex and at the same time think about whitewashing the ceiling. In life, it touches, and in sex – even annoying loving husband. Sexologist Igor Lyakh calls this phenomenon an inadequate concentration of situational attention: there is a feeling, but something in the past is more significant than what is happening here and now. This can be caused by poor communication with the partner.
Normally, if a woman loves, then her attention to the partner automatically becomes a priority. So, if during sex you noted that you are thinking about a juicer, find out where and why the thoughts of a man disappeared.
Thoughts can swarm in the head and those who are simply overloaded. A lot of work, lack of sleep and little time – and now you are thinking about tomorrow’s meeting, instead of caressing a man. Recipe one: learn to organize time and solve work issues at work, and in bed to deal only with beddings. “Lie down for half an hour early, and the switch button will be in the hands of a man,” urges Anatoly Pakhalkov.
3. Egoist willy-nilly
All men are selfish, this lady thinks. And she does not notice how she keeps pulling out of bed: “dear, not so, not there” or “well, I did not have time again”. A woman’s obsession with her feelings and ignoring completely what a man wants is not uncommon. And already if there is no orgasm, it’s right and offended by the man.
“Egocentrism is an attempt to rewrite responsibility, to abandon its active role, this indicates the immaturity of sexual relations,” Igor Lyakh said. In addition, this position is convenient for manipulation: you will be a good child – there will be sex, – as if such a lady says, not suspecting that potentially deprives sex not only of her husband, but herself. If a woman has sex only when convenient to her, a man does not feel his value as a sexual partner, and this directly affects his sexual health.
Incidentally, it is paradoxical, but the fact: the victim’s position when a woman has sex without desire, like saying: “darling, I’m doing it for you” is exactly the same as deception: the sacrificial position causes the man to have a hidden sense of guilt, which is convenient for manipulation. Advice: give up the position of “sex on a call” and try to share the feelings for two, it is useful – in time you will learn to receive more, because each of us knows how to feel and have a body from his youth, and feel together with a partner learn only with experience.
4. Insidious deceiver
Simulation of orgasm – an ephemeral phenomenon, they say a lot about him, but no one will ever admit it. Nevertheless, according to sexologists, many people can imitate the peak of pleasure. But rarely can anyone admit to himself – why.
“A man notices: something is wrong, and eventually loses credibility. This provokes artificiality in the relationship, and in the pair there is growing rejection, summarizes Igor Lyakh, recalling that distrust is one of the main enemies of the relationship. The Omsk colleague agrees with him: “If a woman pretends, she works as a brain, not feelings, and this kills sex, inhibits the sexual development of a woman.”
If you decide to get rid of the role of a little fraud, do not necessarily go to the blame for her husband. Just tell yourself: what are you afraid of, showing the true feelings in bed.
5. Complex figure
Even those who turned out to be naked in bed can be embarrassed by their bodies. Awkwardly turning off the light and covering herself with a blanket, a woman is not just shy of her body – she shouts about it to her man in the ear. “This phenomenon is the opposite of the previous one, where a woman provokes mistrust, but here she demonstrates it, leaving no opportunity for a man to look at himself with his eyes, and not with his own eyes,” emphasizes Igor Lyakh.
In other words: if a man brought you to bed, he obviously likes your ass and chest, and even if you do not like it, you should not talk about it. Anatoly Pakhalkov is absolutely categorical: if a man is already aroused, he is in a kind of trance, and at that moment it’s simply inappropriate to talk about a crease on his stomach. Firstly, he does not see it, and secondly, why spoil everything?
A tip for those who can not get rid of the orange peel, or of thoughts about it: form a habit of never just talking about flaws aloud.
6. Laziness and Prejudice
The last thing: it’s just laziness to deal with sex. For such a textbook, the Kama Sutra will only become a burden: have you tried to perform at least some of the ancient poses? They require skill, dexterity and strength, and most importantly – desire. Men are curious creatures, and are constantly inclined to experiment. Experts believe that if it is not a case of illness, avitaminosis or total lack of sleep, it is lazy to have sex only after eating, so do not ignore the advice of an easy dinner.
But if the “depreciation of the sexual component” has become permanent, and there are no objective reasons for laziness, and everything turns into a general “yes, I’m reluctant”, then, rather, it is worth telling that you are not interested in a person – which means that it is not interesting and sex with him. And this is a completely different story.