It seems to me that the principle of “every creature in pairs” should extend to offices. A lonely woman in a harsh man’s team does not always feel comfortable. A traveler of a male, accidentally wandered into a flower garden, can go mad with happiness.
However, the most terrible thing happens with a lady who fell into the clutches of a ruthlessly purely female collective. It is distinguished by the severity of the climate and the similarity with the terrarium. The hissing behind him, his predatory looks, his long tongues, and the feeling that they are about to burst. True, men with tender condescension call this collective a chicken coop – probably because of the sounds coming from the women’s room.
There are a lot of professions and even whole spheres of activity, in which the weak sex predominates noticeably. This is education, and medicine, and beauty. In addition, in Novosibirsk, according to statistics, women are 123 thousand more than men. Therefore, I would not be surprised if at your work from men only the watchman Uncle Vasya turns out to be. In general, the relationship between themselves similar in men and women are formed in different ways.
Men are more reserved and cautious, they will not open their soul to everyone and not immediately. Therefore, the relationship between male colleagues develops slowly, and they are not as bright as in women. But women quickly find a lot of common – they have no time, they rush to share news, talk about sore and give advice. What kind of work can there be when Svetka left her husband from the next department! Vaughn,
Finding common points, and many of them – a new husband, pregnancy, favorite store or sick teeth – women start to make friends and share, turning the soul inside out. Such frankness does not always resonate, and a real war begins, often involving other colleagues.
“Anyone who tries to get out of a common herd becomes a public enemy. Why, tell me at the mercy? “- Francesco Petrarch asked in the void. However, the answer is obvious. Because if you are not like everyone else, then you are a stranger and dangerous, treating you will be extremely wary. And given the high emotionality inherent in the weaker sex, the women’s office is more prone to a general mood. Therefore, keep the golden mean – the main principle of survival in it. If you need to join the new team painlessly and, importantly, stay there for a long time, be with the team, be closer to the people.
1. Do not be too happy.
At least do not look like that. If in the men’s office respect is earned through professionalism and success in some area, in the women’s world professional successes are not important (of course, if you are a woman, because if not, it’s archival).
“It took me two years to withstand such a test. There were three aunts: one 30 – divorced; second 40 – never married, there are no children, there is no peasant; the third 50 – divorced, children are adults, there is no man. Try to come in the morning with a good mood and even in some new clothes, and even if someone brought you, then all – for a week you will be beaten by the desire to talk. Terrarium, I tell you. Salvation came through dismissal “(LiluZoloto, NGS Psychological Forum).
That is, the more you are happy and successful, the less likely that you will be yours. And if you do not have problems – you are a stranger. Like this: everyone has it, but you do not? However, do not go to the other extreme – to be deeply unhappy, too, is not, this is too much. Sorry, of course, will, but you will strain.
2. Do not dress too much.
No less cautious should be in choosing clothes. Expensive, bright clothes can cause your colleagues to protest. If your neighbor in the office, who was silent for a month, suddenly, with a smile of cheer, observes that you have a wonderful suit – look carefully: maybe her fists are clenched or her right eye is twitching. Pity a man – do not tell her that this suit was bought by your beloved husband while traveling in Italy. It is worth noting that if you dress in jeans and a gray sweater with crochets, the gossip about you will be slightly less. Well, you certainly will not become your own – you dress like a scarecrow!
3. Be generous.
Cookies for tea for everyone and an individual birthday present can soften even the most cruel and unsatisfied women. Believe me, the money spent will more than pay off – people like it when they are treated and they pay attention. Winning your place under the sun, you can actively use it.
“Whoever wants to like in the light, he must be reconciled beforehand with the fact that people who have long known things will teach him there who have no idea about them” (Nicolas Sebastian Chamfort, the French writer).
4. Be ready for very personal questions.
Where does your husband work, how often do you have sex and what is your menstrual cycle? It is worth noting that wherever you are, everyone has the same menstrual cycle, everyone rarely has sex, but everyone knows how much their husband earns. Blush, think out what you want, but answer. To avoid an answer, it will take a lot of skill: listen first to what your neighbors say, and then answer. If you look like most, you will soon become a little interesting person, and you will be left behind.
5. Take your advice.
If you like telling stories from life, be kind enough to listen to advice. There will be many, they will be plentiful, like tropical showers, and contradictory, like recommendations on feng shui. Do not try to argue – the dispute only makes the ladies tired of their own experience. Therefore, in response you will hear a lot of instructive stories, the heroes of which can be anyone – from mother-in-law to Tina Kandelaki. Turn off your brain for the time of heart-rending stories, but do not stop nodding. If you feel that the situation is approaching the extreme point, bring down everything to the headmistress – if you do not do what you ordered in two hours, she will tear your head off!
Women at work, moreover, in the morning, can only dog for one reason – problems in their personal lives (Lonely, NGS Psychological Forum).
6. Do not participate in conflicts.
Mary Ivanna used to be friends with Luce, and then she learned that Lusia was telling all the secrets of Tanya, which Mary Ivanna could not stand. Since then, Lusia – the enemy number one, and you are actively encouraged to take someone’s side. Stay away from the barricades, it’s better to be known as a workaholic who is forever burying himself in a computer than to become an enemy, no matter whose – Lyuskin or Mary Ivanna.
“Friendship between women is just a non-aggression pact” (Henri de Monterlan, a French writer).
7. Do not gossip about your superiors.
Better not gossip at all. Friendship against someone, of course, unites the labor women’s collective, but let them make friends without you. Make it clear that you are mentally with them, but still, until dinner, you run to the store. After all, relations between women develop very quickly, you will not have time to look back, as a good colleague will turn into a desperate intrigante. And to become an enemy of the authorities is more serious than Lyuskin.
“In conversations with each other, women imitate a spirit of comradely solidarity and the kind of confidential frankness they do not allow themselves with men.But behind this appearance of friendship there is so much vigilant distrust, and as it is, to be confessed, justified “(Andre Maurois, French writer).
8. Listen more, talk less.
Do not bury yourself in the trench and play a spy. But in order not to complain in the future because of their naivety and gullibility, it’s better not to spread much. Why should your colleague know that you quarreled with your lover? So many neutral topics for conversation: neighbors, weather, a new recipe. Do not rush – in six months, when you learn about all the many new things, you will make a decision with whom to just say hello, and with whom you share your sore. But attention to the life of colleagues will do you good – learn from Mary Ivanna, as a grandson’s health, ask Svetka where she bought such a chic dress. In the virtual graph of “dignity” office ladies will put a plus.
Well, if your women’s team reigns peace, and peace is broken only by good news, which generously share colleagues. But if it is not so, do not rush to change the work – you can survive among predators. When it becomes completely unbearable, ask the authorities for a couple of men. In their presence even cunning megery will turn into good-natured fairies.