The attitude of a man to his iron friend-car is often filled with a special meaning and emotions, and no wonder that the man in the garage became the object of many jokes and the hero of anecdotes.And some women even claim: with her car, the husband spends more time than at home with his family. From where come the sources of such tremulous partnership relations of men and iron horses and what can tell the choice of the faithful in the matter of the vehicle, the correspondent of SE inquired about the automotive and spiritual affairs of the masters.
Horses and people
If you ask the new owner of the car a naive question: “What do you want?”, You can get the same simple answer: “It’s convenient.” And the truth is: for an amateur, for example, country trips and sudden trips, it rarely compares with the pleasure of owning your own car – the feeling of freedom in the literal sense leaves few people indifferent. But it’s a dubious pleasure to stand in traffic jams for an office-dweller, who yesterday did quite well without a four-wheeled friend – an even more interesting moment (the sudden appearance of children requiring operational transportation and work requiring a driver’s license does not count). “The warrior was always judged not only by his articles, but by his horse, by the sword, by the way he is equipped. At least, they judged his status, “- argues Vladimir Kirillov,
“Now the car, especially in our country, which was deprived of this culture, is judged on the status of a person. Therefore, many are asserting themselves in this way.
In many ways this is the implementation of Soviet complexes, when the presence of a car, for example, its “Volga”, meant that life was a success, “he sums up. “The car has always been a sign of a certain wealth, status. Today it just became available, “explains Gestalt psychotherapist of the Center of Psychology of the National University of Rimma Efimkin, explaining the tireless desire of most men to own their car.
Men, who, on the contrary, deliberately refuse from the car, can have both uncertainty about their solvency in a new aspect for them, and simply other life priorities. “I divide them into two groups. Some are just happy people who live in a world of other norms and things, they are interested in living without it, and the machine for them is just an extra problem, “Vladimir Kirillov tells of his observations. “And there are botanists about whom you can say: Well, it’s just not destined for a person to drive a car.”
I look at you like in a mirror
Those who are “given” can choose which car to buy. Because women are always interested in what you can say about a man looking at his car. In such conversations, in the first place, usually the size of the car and, accordingly, its price appear: a large car always attracts attention and causes a hidden or obvious interest (KamAZ and their “relatives” do not count). Freud considered the car, like any complex mechanism, a powerful phallic symbol. Because in most cases, men, discussing a new SUV neighbor, he is hidden envy, and women secretly admire. A person buys a large car to show great opportunities, but the reason for their showing can serve different things.
“When a person talks about choosing a car, you can listen and understand the extent of his ambitions. The more prestigious the car, the higher ambition. And what is ambition? This is compensation for self-doubt, “
– says Efimkina. Self-confident people, as you know, know their worth in tattered jeans, and the car for them is just a means of transportation. Another thing, the psychologist adds, is that very few people are psychologically healthy, and most will still use the machine for some compensatory purposes.
As for the size of the car, it does not always matter. “In our society there is a myth: if a man chooses a big car, then he necessarily has problems in other areas. But this is absolutely not necessary, – explains the therapist, the director of the Anti-Stress Center Maxim Zagoruiko. “He can choose a big car for comfort or reliability reasons, and maybe he just likes to dominate.” To understand this, you need to pay attention to the interaction of a person with others: relatives, friends, that is, to evaluate his interaction with the world as a whole. “
According to the therapist, it is useful to pay attention to how a man relates to accessories and details of his car. So, for example, a large number of mascots inside the car can talk about its high level of anxiety or that it has some negative experiences associated with driving. For example, memory of an accident. But obsessively exposed icons can indicate that a person likes to drive. “Those who pay much attention to the external attributes of religiosity can use them as a kind of indulgence on the road: they consecrated the car – and you can chase. This is often seen in taxi drivers, carriers – people who often take risks, “- says Vladimir Kirillov.
He also notes that the love for the thoughtless adornment of the car, like the dangerous for the driving of the fur rudders in the girls and the heaped tuning in the male half, often speaks of the infantilism of the owner, this usually affects the young guys who are in the process of self-identification. Similarly, the bright color of the car is rarely used as an element of passive safety for us, but much more often – as a way to say something about ourselves. If a man older than the student’s age self-defines this way, this is a cause for concern.
Finally, it is important to know: motorist driving style not only reflects his character and temperament (obviously), but also as it relates to women in general. “When I work with a male client, I always ask you to tell us about how he drives a car. This reflects his way of interacting with the world around him.
The structure of our psyche is such that we are integral in everything, we all have a leading style of interaction, and it applies to everything: cars, people, pets. A machine in a man’s life is always a diagnostic sign of how he treats other people, including a woman.
When you get into the car and watch how it drives it, you can understand a lot, “says Rimma Efimkina. Whether the driver calls the car “my girl” or expresses in the spirit “it’s just a piece of metal” – it’s safe to carry out a projection on how a man will behave with a lady after the end of the candy period. Therefore it is important not to be mistaken, especially for those who are used to paying much attention to external attributes.