Do you remember your first encounter with unexpected nudity? Was it an errant National Geographic magazine that was left open? Perhaps some less than adequately scrambled late night porn?
Maybe it was on your NES. I know mine sure was.In the mid to late 80’s, video games had some secrets that weren’t easily found, and a lot of them were full on, blurry 8-bit boobies.
Who ever had the job of checking these games for content, was probably sleeping on the job, and that’s fine with me.
It was a wonderful time!
Square Enix
Secret of Mana (1993)
This long-forgotten game has a ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ example. In this game, you’ll encounter some flying spell books that occasionally land, flip through pages and cast a spell that the page lands on. Sometimes, it’ll “accidentally” land on a nude centrefold.Not sure how this made it past censors, as it was found in the US retail versions, but I’m grateful that it did.
ActRaiser (1990)
Not the sexiest example, but during some of the simulation scenes, you’re in control of a naked baby angel. There’s not much to see until he turns around, then you get to see a little, 8-bit ass flying around.Completely unnecessary.
Nintendo
Kid Icarus (1987)
In the final level of the game, you’ve got our hero Kid Icarus flying through a hallway with topless Venus de Milo statues. If that’s not sexy enough for you, there was also a picture of the Syren enemy in the manual, in a very bare-breasted situation.Had to tell my parents that I was keeping that manual under my mattress so that I could soak up the instructions while I was sleeping.
Konami
The Legend of the Mystical Ninja (1991)
In this game, there’s an animal called a Tanuki, which is kind of like a Japanese Racoon-dog. For some reason, though, he’s got a huge scrotum on display. Or maybe it’s his tail. It’s hard to tell with the graphics of the day.In any case, that boss has got some big balls to come after the mystical ninja like that.
Culture Brain
The Magic of Scheherazade (1987)
When you get to the boss of Chapter 2, you encounter Curly (who’s supposed to be the Indian deity Kali). She’s very bare chested.That was very confusing for 5 year old me – it’s scary looking, has more arms than necessary, but boobs.
Time Warner Interactive/Acclaim
Rise of the Robots (1994)
This one is easily missed, unless you know to look for it in the right place, at the right brightness. When this game came out on the 1994 edition TVs, things were too dark to see. Now, with HD screens, you can see that from certain angles, the Cyborg’s junk is visible. Especially when he does this kick.One question: Why is this fighting robot so well equipped?
Technos Japan
River City Ransom( 1989)
We already highlighted this game as one of the best forgotten NES games in a previous post, and here’s another reason why it deserved a replay – a gratuitous butt scene.If you pay a little extra to hit up the sauna at Pop’s Health Club, you get to see a chubby man ass, complete with dimples. Lovely.
Capcom
Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight (1990)
This game, that has very little to do with the other Street Fighter games, has some unexpected nudity in the first level. While you’re walking though the game, you’ll see some full-on naked neon sideboob.
Konami
Super Castlevania IV (1991)
This is one of the more infamous examples of unexpected and gratuitous nudity in a Nintendo game, only because it was displayed in a Nintendo Power magazine. You can clearly tell that this Medusa is topless, and I’m certain that her snakes were not the only ones getting one action.
Rare
Taboo: The Sixth Sense (1989)
This one wasn’t so much a game, but more of a Tarot card reading simulation. This one actually came with a warning about nudity, and shows the ‘Lovers’ card with a man and woman together, the ‘Priestess’ card with a bare-breasted woman, and a ‘Strength’ card that had a Chimera – lion’s body, upper naked torso of a woman.My future’s looking pretty sexy now.
Hudson Soft
Ys III: Wanderers from Ys (1991)
It’s almost as if Nintendo didn’t think that statues counted as nudity, but this is some full on naked statue sideboob. This is also the boss Elefier, and you have to fight her and her un-restrained chest.I’m up for the task.
Nintendo
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island (1995)
When it comes to this example, someone finally decided to be discrete. In level 4-1, there’s this strange structure, which doesn’t look like much.Add some lines and boom, that’s a sexy, sexy mountain!
Data East
Ring King (1985)
Finally, there’s this one. It’s not unexpected nudity. Oh no, it’s worse. In between rounds of this boxing game, the trainer looks like he’s servicing the boxer. I mean, what else could he be doing?Why would they put this in there?
Yay Boobies!!Via Flying Omelette