Tiffany Haddish is quite the woman. Before finding fame in her breakout role in Girls Trip – complete with some interesting grapefruit talents – Tiffany found herself homeless and resorted to living out of her car until Kevin Hart lent the comedian $300. Using the money to get a motel for the week, the moment was a turning point in her career.
Years later, Tiffany is now a fully-fledged Hollywood A-lister, who puts the power into empowerment with her side-splitting humour and inspiring story. Following Girls Trip came a sell-out stand up ‘She Ready’ tour, an Emmy award for her hosting of Saturday Night Live, (where she was the first black female comedian to host) and a string of cinema hits including Night School with Kevin Hart himself.
Now Tiffany is playing the role she was born to play: a queen, in Lego Movie 2. Tiffany’s Queen Watevra Wa’Nab ascends to her throne opposite Chris Pratt and Elizabeth Banks. In an exclusive event, here at GLAMOUR’s HQ, Tiffany joined us to talk queens, Meghan Markle and becoming Drake’s stepmom. Trust us, it’s juicy AF. What. A. Woman.
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How did you hone your queen craft for Lego Movie 2?
It took some time, I had to go back to the motherland and really figure out who I am as a person. No, I just decided when they offered me the role and told me what it was, I was like ‘oh that’s easy, that’s who I am anyways!’ I think every single person should think of themselves as royalty because you are, you’re royalty in your home, in your domain, in your realm. Then when they told me she can transform, I’m like, that’s who I am anyways! I change my look every day, one day I might have curly hair, the next short hair or long hair, stripy hair…I might be bald next week – you don’t know. I change my look all the time so to me that’s a perfect example of how everyone should be. You should be whatever you want to be but always be yourself.
Let’s role play for a second – what would you do if you we’re going to meet our Queen in real life?
I’ve already thought about that – I know she wants to see me! I’m gonna be on the gate like, ‘Meghan, let me in girl, it’s your cousin Tiff, it’s the queen of south-central Los Angeles!’ We’ll have tea. Probably some mint tea because I like to keep it minty, it’s good for the digestive system. First off, I’m going to ask the Queen, ‘what’s it like being on all money though, are you a little upset that they use an older picture as opposed to a younger picture on the money?’ I’m going to be asking a lot of personal questions.
Do you want to know what’s going on behind closed doors with Meghan Markle?
No, it’s none of my business! I don’t care what she’s got going on behind closed doors. I want to know what she’s wearing, that’s cute. Or what she’s planning on doing for the people – those kinds of things. What’s going on in your bedroom is your business. Behind the door is fun time…
Your singing is SO good in Lego Movie 2 – if we were going to see Tiffany Haddish: The Musical, what would it be like?
It’s going to have a lot of Beyoncé and Tina Turner inspirations, a little bit of Britney, a little bit toxic. You’re going to have some heartfelt moments and be like, ‘oh goodness is this a production of Rag Time?’ I’m going to have those moments where it will make you want to cry for a little bit but then it’s going to take you around to some Bon Jovi and you’ll be like, ‘oh my god, OK, she got some rage!’ Then I’m going to bring in a little Garth Brooks because I got a little country in me too. Then I’m going to bring the hip-hop in, I’m going to give you some of that 2-Pac. It’s going to be an all-round experience. It would be amazing. You know, I’m working on an album now.
Is this an exclusive – you are working on an album?
It’s an exclusive, I’m working on an album! Granted, most of this album has already happened in my head but that’s how it starts. It all starts in here and then it comes out and I’ve been talking to people. If you heard at the end of the audio book, there’s a song that I sang, and this is before I took vocal lessons. I got nominated for a Grammy, not for that song but for the book, for the audio book. I didn’t know you could get nominated for reading into a tape recorder, but you can! I’m really excited about that and it really inspired me like, ‘wow if I can nominate for a Grammy for telling my truth, what can I get if I really just apply myself and my vocal skills?’ I’m going to see what happens. It might be really great, it might not but who cares, right? You’ve got to give it a shot.
Cardi B, move over!
I’m trying to get her on a couple of tracks. We’re going to have her chirping in go brrrrrrr. I’m like she ready brrrrrrr!
What is the album going to be called?
It will probably be the ‘She Ready’ album or ‘The She Ready Experience’ or ‘The We Ready Album.’ Whatever, it’s going to be ready.
Lego Batman is hunky AF – that Lego character has abs!
Yeah, Batman is a beefcake, he’s got abs and all that. He works out, he got money. He probably got surgery. Have you seen this where guys are getting abs now? I’m like, ‘what, men out here tricking us!’ They’re getting weaves and all that too.
What top dating tips could you give us after your attempts to entrap Batman in your web?
No, what Queen Watevra Wa’Nab is trying to do is not entrap him in her web. She’s trying to encourage him to merge his kingdom with her kingdom so we can all be happy. That’s all we’re trying to ever do. You men always think y’all trying to be trapped or something, nobody got time for trapping! If anything, we’re trying to enhance your universe and make it better for you, easier for you, bring each other up to the next level. That’s what we’re trying to do.
You’ve famously said you had a crush on Brad Pitt…
I didn’t know Brad Pitt had all them kids! Let’s be honest. I never said I had a crush on him, I said he was hollering at me in the elevator and I said if he’s single in a year and I’m single in a year, we’ll see what we can do. Then I did my research and I was like, ‘he’s got a lot of kids. That’s not going to work for me! I want to be spoilt, I want to be number one!’
Who do you have your eye on RN?
Nobody! What I’ve learnt over the past year is men are very afraid of women who know what they want. So, I have devised a plan that if I see something I like, I say you’re cute, you’re handsome, your breath stinks though! I would hit them with three compliments and then something that brings them down a little bit. Then I will walk away, act like I don’t care and then let’s see what happens. Usually they come and say, ‘hey can I hang out with you and get your number?’ And I’m like, ‘arghhh, I’m so busy, here’s my number, try me!’ I don’t answer the first call or respond to the first text, I wait a day or so, I play the game, it’s a game. F**k it, it’s a game!
Do people slide in your DMs quite regularly?
You know what, Drake slid into my DMs. I saw him a few days later and he was like, ‘yo! You didn’t respond to my DMs!’ I was like, ‘well I don’t even know that you follow me!’ He just wanted to know if I wanted to be in his music video. So, I did his music video and I thought, ‘oh maybe something might happen, you know!’ I was like, ‘are you gonna take me to dinner?’ He said, ‘yeah we could eat dinner,’ and then I never heard from him again. That’s because I was being thirsty – that’s my fault. I should have said, ‘I’ll see if I can be in your music video. What are you looking at? Are you trying to hang out with me? Ewww gross!’ I should have been like, ‘who are you again? What do you do?’ His dad hit me up though and I turned his dad down. I’m not being Drake’s step momma!
I love the pamper land in Lego Movie 2 – what beauty treatment have you ever had that you’ve regretted?
I tried to get my moustache lasered off and that burned. I got my lip burned and so I had a scab moustache. I was also trying to laser off my arm hairs from a thing I got off Amazon and I burnt my arm so lesson learned on that: don’t do that to yourself when you’re drinking! I also dyed my hair blonde when I was like 21, a honey blonde. I thought it was super beautiful and then all my hair fell out. Lesson learnt on that: wear weaves!
You said you love making money out of your bullies?
I’m making money off the bullies online. Thank you. Thank you bully, you are free publicity!
What do you want to say to the bullies?
The bullies from high school, Thank you! All the ones from junior high and elementary that made fun of me, were mean to me, I want to say, ‘thank you because you moulded me and made me strong enough to deal with all this wonderful success that I’m enjoying! Rolling around in it, thank you!’ To all the current haters, the people that can’t stand me and say, ‘I’m annoying and you can’t stand my voice. I get on your nerves – thank you for feeling something because that means I’m doing my job!’ My whole job is to create an emotion, a feeling. I’m an entertainer and whether it be negative or positive, I’m winning especially if you’re talking about me. If you take the energy to write about it, that means you’re wasting your life on talking about me and I don’t even know who you are. It doesn’t bother me because I still get my cheque bitch!
Do you see yourself going into a serious role down the line?
WellMelissa McCarthyand I just did a movie together, The Kitchen, which is definitely not a comedy and that will be coming out in September. I took drama in high school so I can do a little bit of everything. I’ve been through enough, so I have enough of the tools to deliver. If I could just get Meryl Streep to sharpen the tools and show me how to use them like an expert, that would be great. I’d like to be her apprentice. I see myself going across all genres. I mean one day I’ll be in a Japanese soap opera!
If you had one piece of advice for your 16-year-old self, what would it be?
I would tell her to not be afraid of anything. Let that fear drive you to success. Use it, don’t run from it. Use the fear as fuel for the future and don’t do things out of fear, do it in spite of fear.
Would you ever want to present the Oscars?
Not this year because there’s no time to prepare. There’s no time to get it perfect. I don’t think you want to take on a job at the last minute – that’s too much pressure and too much stress. Maybe in a year or two when things are more in the pocket and slowed down for me and I can really dedicate the time to create to make sure it’s really amazing. I prepared a lifetime for Saturday Night Live. I personally prepared and wrote stuff for years because I auditioned for it so many times, so I had a whole notebook full of ideas. I had about 17 different monologues prepared. I was so stressed out I lost ten pounds. If I had to do it again, I would not stress myself as much because I really wanted it to be my voice.
When I hosted the MTV Movie Awards, I had three months to play with the writers and get my ideas in. When you have time to prepare for success, it’s easier to achieve it. If I hosted the Oscars this year, it would not be me. It would be me saying somebody’s else’s words. It would be fake. If I did it, they would probably try and hire me every year because it would be popping’! The ratings would be out the roof!
Who has propped you up in the lowest moments of your life?
In the lowest moments of my life, sometimes my grandmother or strangers – you’d be surprised how a stranger can keep you from nearly dying. I’m grateful to all those people. When I was at high school, my drama teacher started noticing that I couldn’t read too well so she actually took the time and invested the time in me. She didn’t have to do that, but she did, and I think that was super powerful. Kevin noticing I was struggling and just handing over 300 bucks – that 300 bucks changed my whole world. It’s a lot of people that have contributed in little ways. I can’t even name them all because there’s hundreds and I’m grateful for all those angels. I feel like we all change each other’s lives. Every single one of us is here for a reason, whether it’s good or bad, you are here to teach a lesson and maybe you don’t even know what it is but you’re here for something.
Whether it’s just to say to somebody, ‘man I’m proud of you.’ Maybe that was your job was the whole time to tell one person, ‘I’m proud of you,’ to keep them from hurting themselves. That’s why when I’m proud of someone, I tell them. When I like what somebody is doing, I tell them. If you’re looking good, I tell you. I try not to hold it back. When I meet the Queen, I’ll be like, ‘girl those eyebrows are popping’ Yes, that crown, yes! Those shoes, ewww!’
Lego Movie 2 is in cinemas now