28.10.2020

Thousand and One Nights

The five most common misconceptions about sex

If we draw an analogy and realize that our life is seldom similar to a movie, then we will certainly agree with the fact that it is simply stupid to drive sexual lives into pornographic standards. Fortunately, none of this does. However, about sexual life there are still a lot of prejudices. And often images are taken from the same films. SHE learned about the most common myths in sexual life from specialists.

Frequency is the guarantee of health
Few people will challenge the importance of regular sexual life in the existence of a person. The question usually rests on quantity, and here many will say “the more often the better”, at least for a man – for sure. “This myth is based on the fact that at the age of hypersexuality a man wants sex more often than a woman, and this desire he demonstrates as often as possible,” says the psychotherapist-sexologist of the Insight clinic Igor Lyakh. “If we talk about opportunities, it is precisely the woman who is ready for sex at any time, unlike a man who has a refractory period – a condition when he can not be excited,” adds Igor Poperechny, director of the Center for Medical Sexology and Psychotherapy.

According to experts, men often have a neurotic sexual urge when he does not want sex as such, but evidence that he corresponds to a certain “level”. 

These symptoms are common in men between the ages of 18 and 25 years. Then a fracture occurs. So, a man can find out that in the evening he is tired and does not want sex, besides it may turn out that his woman wants sex even more often than he does (her “sexual blossom” comes up to 30 years). If the partners were in captivity illusions, they may start problems and develop an inferiority complex. 

Bedclothes
“There are no frigid women – there are inept men,” some ladies proudly proclaim, if they did not enjoy themselves in bed. In this there is some truth: a good lover – a piece of piece, and on the road does not roll. However, the very position, when the entire responsibility for the female orgasm is placed on the lover, is incorrect. First, it often serves as a way of manipulating relationships (female “it’s you who is to blame” for any failure). Secondly, does not allow a woman to reveal her own potential, because you can spend your entire life searching for the best lover, without receiving a single drop of pleasure. Finally, it is with this approach that there is a great chance to run into the donjuan, who knows what to do with courtship and affection, but does it in pursuit of quantity. “If a man is sure that any woman can be brought to orgasm, we see a kind of fixation

Size without value
Mystification regarding the ideal size of the genital organ of a man still exists. The roots of this phenomenon is not in the porn industry, but in ancient phallocentric myths. But if our ancestors worshiped the phallus to wait for a good harvest or rain, then modern people “worship” the size if they have problems with self-esteem. A man endowed with great male dignity, thinks himself a valuable specimen and best lover, even if nothing of himself is not. As experts explain, this man has a strong self-conceit and he forces a partner to love not only him, but his body, so there is a kind of splitting of personality. A man with a small dignity, on the contrary, all the problems in life in general and in relationships in particular is inclined to ascribe unsuccessful nature. At the same time, in neither case, the size and sex problems are not directly related (unless it is a so-called micro-penis, whose size does not exceed 10 cm in the erect state). “Women are more often concerned about the size of the back – if a man has a long penis and a woman has a short vagina, they have to pick up a pose for a long time,” says Igor Lyakh. By the way, if a woman chooses men only with sizes larger than average, this may indicate her relationship to a man as an object, but not to the subject of the relationship.

A long prelude
For any man it is insulting to compare him in bed with a rabbit that is missing for more than three minutes. So, the strong sex begins to master the Taoist techniques for prolonging sexual intercourse and controlling the erection. If possible – you can show off how he and his wife “all night.” The same applies to women – the words that sex was more than three times a night, a good half of the girlfriends will cause silent envy. 

Meanwhile, sex for the whole night rather fulfills a symbolic role. “Very often it’s a myth about the grandeur of a man, when he seems to cross out all the relations of a woman with past partners.

It’s like saying: I’m better than all previous men, because I can have sex longer “, – explains Igor Lyakh. He also recalled that many sexually healthy couples prefer to receive satisfaction without health consequences in the form of physical exhaustion. And this is absolutely normal.

Щи да каша
Another myth – that sexual desire can be awakened with the help of special food – has the right to exist. As Igor Pereperchny explained, most often in this context, various and acute spices are mentioned – all spicy food irritates the urethral mucosa, the vagina, and due to this the excitation increases.

But most of the expensive ingredients for a romantic dinner – nothing more than an advertising move. So if there were no oysters, avocados or truffles at hand, that’s okay. They do not produce any magic effect. It is quite possible to replace them with nuts and delicious meat – proteins help a man restore strength for feats. “Food should be high-calorie, but most importantly, it should give a sense of pleasure,” adds Igor Lyah, recalling that it is not worthwhile to overeat before sex. You have to be more careful with alcohol. As Igor Pereperchny reminded, all low-alcohol drinks relax, but at the same time they make men incapable of full-fledged sex, therefore cognac is better for a romantic dinner – a little high-quality drink will relieve stress, and due to the presence of tannins simultaneously stimulates.

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