This Very Oversized Tube Scarf Will Literally Swallow You Whole

Have you ever wanted to feel like the toys in your Christmas stocking? Earlier today, we spotted this new-age Snuggie on Instagram and fell in love faster than you can say, “What the f*ck is that thing?!”

To answer your question, it comes from Dukyana, a little yarn shop in Bulgaria, and is hand-knit and often made-to-order. The knittery has been growing exponentially through word of mouth, but this swarfuggie (a totally made-up name for this sweater-scarf-snuggie creation) may be the thing that puts them on the map.

Unlike the OG Snuggie, this one is stylish and says, “I felt like confusing my mind today when I stepped out of the house wearing a knit sleeping bag.” You can fold down the top and make it into an armless evening gown if you so choose, or pull it all the way up, making it look like you’re trapped in, well… we don’t have to go there.

It’s the perfect excuse for not passing the remote and not having to hug someone you don’t like. Basically, it’s blackout glasses for your body, non-verbally sending the message that you don’t want to deal with literally anyone.

You can order your swarfuggie online, or pop over to the shop if you happen to be in Bulgaria. This baby will set you back around $300 depending on the material used, your level of customization, and the time it takes to make. Want a special design? No problem. Just send them a sketch or photo along with your measurements. They also sell conventionally-shaped sweaters, jackets, matching sets (with mohair shorts!) and accessories (legwarmers!) for those of you who don’t want to spend big bucks on the most epic muppet costume on the market.

I have so many questions: How many people can I fit inside a swarfuggie? If I scrunch it up all the way does it become an actual neck scarf? Can I wear it as a makeshift gown when I finally get invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner? Or is it not made to be more narrow than shoulder width? Can I be a fully-functioning human being going about my work day while wearing the swarfuggie?

For now, I’m just going to frolick in the fantasy of strutting down the streets of Manhattan wearing my swarfuggie and being stopped by Bill Cunningham for a photo opp.

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