This Tinder profile is like a needle in a 3000k lb. haystack, Photos

What do you do when you nearly die in a freak hay accident? You use it to pick up women, of course. That’s exactly what Imgur user phalanaster did. If positive energy was an aphrodisiac, Joe could make women moan just by looking at them. The legendary story goes something like this:

**Editors note: To skip the story and just view the profile, scroll to the last image.

“2 1500lb hay bales tumbled down and crushed me against the ground.”

“I should be dead, I still can’t wrap my mind around how I survived. It was pure luck.”

“I have a long road to recovery ahead of me.. And it’s gonna be a painful, but that’s okay.”

“Because I’m still alive, breathing, and no longer crushed under 3000lbs of hay, so I welcome any and all pain. Cause pain is a feeling, a feeling I shouldn’t be feeling anymore.but I am, cause I’m alive!!”

“Sup ladies, I’m Joe, I just got crushed by 3000 pounds. Got a broken pelvis but still dtf. I do have a catheter. I don’t wanna be “one of those guys” who lies about his catheter status. The catheter may be an issue, but great minds do great things. Bedbound, you literally have to do all the work. I probably can’t get off.. or get hard. Buy hey; great minds. Anyway, I’m here at UVA medical center if you wanna smash.”

As if being crushed by hay wasn’t enough, Joe is about to get caught in a landslide of punani. Stay positive and leave some for the rest of us, would you!

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