09.05.2021

The safest sex

In their fantasies, men prefer “strawberry”, and women appreciate aesthetics

You lie on the beach in a frank bathing suit, and then he comes up – that muscular stranger from the gym … Or he approaches not one, but with the other. Or with a friend. What will happen next – depends on you and on the flight of your imagination, but most importantly – it will end well. It’s not accepted to discuss – sexual fantasies are too intimate to make them public.

Fantasies favorably differ from live sex. Here you are the commander of the parade, and no one else. You choose what you will do, where, with whom and for how long. No one will hurt you and hurt you. Unless, of course, you yourself do not want it. All in your hands. In the hands may be Tom Cruise, a doctor, a best friend or a colleague at work. At your request, you will be in an elevator, on a tropical island or in a hotel room. You can flirt, you can dance and, in the end, indulge in love joys.

The most surprising thing is that, as a rule, the fantasy scenario is quite trivial – despite the unlimited freedom, they are tightly tied to reality. Nevertheless, sexual fantasies remain tautized – you can hear more than personal things about lovers or husbands, about a favorite pose, but I have never heard from my close friends about their sexual fantasies. They are embarrassed, they hide it. 

Even psychologists for a long time did not study the question of secret desires, considering it shameful and indecent. True, Freud spoke on this subject, he believed that a happy person does not fantasize – this is the lot of dissatisfied companions. Mr. Freud led everyone astray, but his arguments are still believed.

Nevertheless, studies show that sexual dreamers do not suffer from a lack of sexual life, but on the contrary – they have it richer than the restrained conservatives. 

They engage in sex more often, experiment more and have more partners. The connection between the presence of fantasies and the presence of a healthy intimate life is not questioned – rather, the absence of these indicates problems.

According to surveys, only 5% of men and women said that they never fantasized (or maybe they just did not admit?). Most often, “dirty” thoughts are visited by teenagers – 57% of boys and 42% of girls. But the joy of dreams darkens the feeling of guilt, it arises in every fourth, so some try to fight the fantasy that has been played out. This is not the best way to affect intimate life. 

Why your fantasies are different from the dreams of your neighbor, no one knows. There are versions that this is due to personal life experience, with what you saw, heard and read. 

Although the possibilities of the human brain are unlimited, the meaning of all sexual fantasies boils down to one thing – people of both sexes want to feel welcome.

But the difference between the scenarios for men and women still exists. Have you seen how many in magazines, magazines with busty blondes, without a shadow of embarrassment demonstrating their charms in different angles? Do you think so? Men love not only to look at these girls, but also to represent them in the role of their partners. 

Women are different. There is important aesthetics, beauty. Blooming gardens, birds singing, wild beach and the sound of the ocean. A courteous handsome man with a naked torso, crumbling in compliments. A close elevator and an office table are much less common. For women, romance is important, for men – the number of sexual acts. But there are other features: 

• A man more represents what he does with a woman, he is focused on the female body. The woman, on the contrary, concentrates on the interest of the partner to her.

• Men are more likely to have sex, where several partners are involved. According to the results of one of the studies, about a third of men dream of having a threesome – 2 times less often women dream about it. 

• Both women and men like to represent scenes where one fulfills the wishes of the other. But men often take an active position, while women are more willing to obey. 
• Men’s fantasies are more diverse. Women are prone to repetition. 

In the world of sexual fantasies there are still many blank spots. Psychologists and sexologists do not know how fantasies change throughout the life of a person, what happens if they are put into practice. However, they are confident that this is an indicator of a healthy, happy intimate life. Just those who have problems, fantasize extremely rarely, say experts.

The authors of the studies on this topic believe that in this way you can express your sexuality without risking anything. It’s natural and pleasant, they say. So fantasize on health. 

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