How would you react to the offer of a husband or a groom to conclude a marriage contract and generally discuss how your property will be divided in the event of a divorce? Probably, thoughts and feelings would be many, and for different women they would be different. For example, more than half of SHE readers believe that the conclusion of a marriage contract is a useful thing and helps to avoid problems in the event of a divorce. And only 8% see this as distrust of the partner. Look from different sides on the marriage contract decided to correspondent SHE.
There is an opinion that this document came to us from the West or America, but in fact it is much more ancient. Even in Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece, the bride and groom made an agreement before marriage to register their property relations. Such an agreement was considered the norm and was very common, but later Christianity placed emphasis on the spiritual side of the “sacred union”, and it became indecent to conclude a marriage contract. However, until now in our country such an attitude is often enough, because a little what a bride or wife can with peace of mind think about the possible end of family life.
The legal side
At the same time, Russian spouses and spouses are given the opportunity to conclude a marriage contract, in which absolutely any questions of the property relations of the spouses can be prescribed. For example, these are: “The car acquired by the spouses during the marriage is during the marriage the joint common property of the spouses, and in case of divorce – by the husband’s property”. “The dishes purchased by the spouses during the marriage, kitchen utensils, kitchen appliances are during the marriage the joint common property of the spouses, and in case of divorce – by the property of the wife.” If the contract is not concluded, the acquired “good” will be considered a common property and in case of a divorce it will be divided in half.
In addition to property rights, our law does not regulate any other rights and obligations in the marriage contract, unlike, for example, from Western countries, where almost any condition can be prescribed in the marriage contract, up to the schedule of performance of marital duties.
Elena Pikur, the head of the legal department of Novosibirsk Law Society LLC, notes that the marriage contract can specify the fate of not only existing property, but also acquired by the couple in the future, and tells about the restrictions of the marriage contract.
The marriage contract can not:
1. Regulate personal non-property relations (duties on housekeeping, intimate life of spouses, communication with children after divorce, order in case of death of one of the spouses and much more);
2. Include provisions on the rights of children, other than on the costs of their upbringing and education;
3. limit the spouses in the choice of activities. For example, it is impossible to prescribe a clause in the contract, according to which the wife will be obliged to engage in housekeeping, and the husband will provid her with maintenance.
A marriage contract can be concluded and notarized at any time before and after marriage, but it acquires force only after state registration.
Elena Pikur says that people often turn to the desire to make a marriage contract after thirty, often businessmen who want to protect their business in the event of a divorce from the division of all property, as well as people entering into a second marriage. For young couples who have not yet acquired property, this is less relevant.
This is how the outside of the marriage contract looks. But what happens in the relations between two people when discussing a marriage contract and why does a desire to conclude it arise?
The psychological side
The psychoanalyst, head of the psychotherapeutic department of the Insight clinic, Igor Lyakh, says that in Russia the proposal to conclude a marriage contract is often perceived with distrust. In this case, it is necessary to understand with what inner motives a man and a woman are getting married. Conclusion of the marriage contract by and large clarifies the goals and desires of partners in marriage, and of course, if they differ, conflicts will arise.
Then the question is quite logical – what happened between partners before marriage, because of what such moments remained unclarified? This is an indicator that the partners were not open and honest, they could not agree and understand each other. Therefore, before proposing the conclusion of a marriage contract, psychologists recommend to think – why do you have a desire to conclude a contract?
The psychologist at the Center of Alice Marina Viner believes that the marriage contract is beneficial to a financially more successful partner, which in most cases is a man.
For a woman, marriage is often a means of solving financial problems. In the absence of a marriage contract, she has a chance to get more by parting, especially if there are children.
For a woman, this looks fair, as she more than a man puts spiritual strength, time to build a house and coziness, and for a woman, the investment of the soul is always more important than financial investments.
If you have made a firm decision to invite a partner to conclude a marriage contract, psychologists recommend doing this on a rational, rather than an emotional level, relationship. For example, you can study the Family Code together and think about what points you can add to it in your particular case. If your relationship has existed for a long time, in conversation, it is necessary to avoid having your partner think that you are thinking about divorce, so in the discussion often pay attention to the fact of living together.
“In any case, the drafting of a marriage contract is a conversation between two psychologically grown-up people who understand their goals and desires. If your partner has an acute reaction, it is probably a manifestation of a child’s position, an unwillingness to comprehend and plan his life and be independent.
In addition, most women are not inclined to share the spiritual sphere and the sphere of material wealth, and even more so to think that the relationship may end. Therefore, when a woman hears a reasonable proposal to clarify the material side, she is inclined to understand this for herself as “he does not love me”, “he does not trust me”.
In fact, this proposal to abandon the illusions and see the world sensibly, without rose-colored glasses, “- sums up Marina Viner.
Is it necessary to have a marriage contract with two psychologically grown-up couples who are capable of quiet discussion of the property side of their union, especially if their thoughts on marriage are pure? Probably, this is a question that each couple will answer in their own way.