“He got into a car wreck because he installed a PlayStation in his car and he and his friend were playing it while he was driving.”
“Interestingly enough, his ex cornered me at my place of work right as I started hanging out with him, and she WARNED me about him. I brushed it off and wrote her off as crazy. Sure enough, literally everything she said came true. Her warning always lived in the back of my mind and eventually helped me get the nerve to kick him out. I’ve always wanted to run into her again and thank her and apologize for calling her crazy.”
“He believed the Necronomicon was real and claimed to have done several incantations from it.”
“Said she thought cheating could be used as a power move.”
“He had his own name tattooed on himself. I brushed it off as quirky – it’s gotta be a joke, right? There’s no way a real live person could be that comically narcissistic, right? Long story short, he eventually started playing recordings of himself singing and playing guitar… while I pleasured him. The cherry on top was that he never reciprocated and was by far the worst lay I’ve ever had like I did not know the depths of how disappointing sex could actually be. And I’m not even gonna go into the emotional disappointment.
I’m ashamed to admit that our “relationship” lasted almost a year because I was in denial that someone so good looking could be such an irredeemable pile of crap.”
“He told me I was a cockblocking him cuz I wanted to hold his hand while we were walking through the mall.”
“One day she turned to me and said “My doctor disagrees but I’ve decided to go off the medication”.”
“Any pleasant, romantic, sweet, loving, gratuitous thing I did he would treat me like shit. When I would show zero interest in him for being such a dick head he would treat me like royalty. Pull out every stop, every trick in the book to romance me and make me forget about it. When I would be sweet back it turned him off. The more I ignored him and rejected him for being a total asshole, the more he wanted me. It was this weird game. After a while, I grew tired. I didn’t want to play anymore.”
“I watched her be abusive and manipulative towards the guy she was dating when I met her and we were still just friends. For some reason, I thought it wouldn’t be like that with me. It was.
She also told me herself, when we first started dating, that she was really fucked up and that most people who dated her ended up hating her. I didn’t believe it. She turned out to be really fucked up, and I ended up hating her.”
“As we got to know each other she’d tell me about a lot of the shitty people she’d had in her life, who’d treated her poorly or caused drama for no reason. Over time it became more and more obvious that her idea of “toxic drama-starter” translated to “anyone who tells her the truth about her own shitty behavior.”
I watched her treat a waitress like shit for something the waitress couldn’t control, and when I called her out on it she said she couldn’t believe I’d attack her like that, and I should support her 100% no matter what she did. In her own mind, every action she took was justified, and anyone who said differently was “being negative”, and she “didn’t need that in her life.””
“Her father told me days before we got married that she was a severe narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but herself. Thinking back, all I had were red flags, no green flags really at all.”
“Talking about how much they would fuck my friend. She said “would” doesn’t mean she will. She did. A lot.”
“Every time we fought she would call her mom and after minute hand me the phone and start to go down on me while her mother told me how she was and how I had to treat her. Fuckin nuts.”
“When they say “every guy/girl I’ve met has abandoned me, and I didn’t do anything wrong” or something along those lines. If everyone else is always the problem, then you might be the problem. Didn’t phase me though because tits.”
“That she was addicted to heroin. I thought I could help her. Bad idea. Ended up getting strung out myself.”
“He was recently unemployed and had been fucking a very gay drug dealer for the opportunity to do Molly. He insisted he was straight and proved it by fucking some fat Catholic chick, while on Molly.”
“Held my hand, looked deep into my eyes, and wistfully protested, “Don’t finish your schooling in the city an hour away, I am afraid you will meet and like someone else instead.” What is that Bojack quote? If you are wearing rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like… flags.”
“He was dumber than a rock. I swear to Christ he was the walking inspiration for Derek Zoolander. Walking and screwing were about the only things he could do without breaking something or causing something to go wrong. He:
-Attempted to wash (my) dishes with laundry soap
-Was apparently unfamiliar with two-knob showers and couldn’t figure out how to make a hot shower happen at my place, until he asked
-Could not, to save his life, remember where I lived or what apartment I was in, even after coming over five times
-Thought the US president had the same unilateral powers and reign as a monarch
-Confused the 4th of July with Presidents Day, assumed his work schedule was incorrect for scheduling him on Presidents Day as they must be closed, and simply did not go in
-Consistently told me our star signs were “plutonic” together (still unsure what he meant)
-Upon learning that shelter dogs were always fixed, asked me why there were so many puppies then
I made it through three weeks. If I’d have stayed with him I’d have had to develop a heroic drinking problem just to cope. Good lord was he hot though, I seriously didn’t want to admit he was also profoundly dumb.”
“Meth use. Cheating. Stealing. Emotional abuse. Borderline personality. But hearing her speak French was the sexiest thing in the fucking world.”
“”Sacrifice is something other people do for me,” Apparently, I was dating a Disney villain and didn’t notice.”
“A woman sent me a FB message and said “It looks like we have the same boyfriend” and instead of being smart about it and talking to her I talked to him about it. Since I had a key to his place I figured she was jealous or whatever. Months later he asked me to see if I could figure out what was wrong with his computer, he left me logins and everything I needed to try and figure out what was going on.
I proceeded to find hundreds of videos of him and other women along with craigslist ads with pictures of the both of us saying he was looking for someone to join us. I had no knowledge of any of this. Worst part, he was a scummy sheriff for the county we lived in.”
“Gorgeous. Blonde. Curves like Formula 1. Legs for days. But… Just dumber than a box of rocks. After one date, took her home. Walked past her drunk Dad passed out on the couch. To her room. Where she says “Wanna fool around?” My brain froze up and I saw my future, living in a trailer while she screamed at me, holding our babies.
“Sorry, I really have to study for the SAT’s I’m taking tomorrow.” Kicked that tests ass, got a National Merit scholarship, went to Engineering school. Where I met and later married a much hotter girl.”
“She was really immature. Didn’t know how to handle things not going 100% her way. Thankfully it ended after only a few weeks. But god damn she had the largest breasts I’d ever seen in my life.”
She’d get immensely paranoid if I even had any female friends, she was always threatening to break up with me and actually did on multiple occasions. But I stuck through it because I was madly in love with her, she drove me crazy. I grew up across the street from her grandparents, and she actually had lived there for a little bit with her mom while we were growing up, but I never met her until I was in college. Fell in love instantly.
Dark brown hair, the most beautiful brown eyes, and the cutest fucking smile and laugh I’ve ever seen or heard. She was short, probably around 5’4″ or so, skinny, yet curvy. Really cute butt. I loved every inch of that girl. The good days were amazing. The bad days were miserable. But I fucking loved that girl with everything I had, man. I would have done anything for that girl. She was my rock.”
“We were waiting for the bus and she said “if I were alone, someone would have picked me up by now.” She was way hot. A 9.5 with an amazing body but she also SUCKED in the sack and was extremely full of herself. I’d rather date a 4 with a personality and a willingness to throw a ring finger in my ass any day.”