The main reason why women – even married and married – on holiday wear a hat and look coquettishly at tanned macho is that it is here that we get a unique opportunity to reincarnate for another time into another person. A business lady can play a girl in ballet, and a provincial Cinderella is a princess from the capital. And she will be believed. In other words, it is a game, the rules of which are accepted by both sides.
“A woman on vacation, if she does not appear in the society of a man – is perceived a priori free”, – explains the family therapist Marina Markutun. She behaves accordingly: she is outside the usual surroundings, and this gives her a sense of freedom – more than she can afford in ordinary life.
Experts in women’s psychology believe that ladies are inclined to resort romances, who in ordinary life do not get enough of those emotions that they need, and even the presence of their constant partner in itself does not mean anything. As the psychologist of the city perinatal center Tatyana Skritskaya notes, the mechanism of adaptation of emotions works: even in the best possible relations, the passion of the first year does not last forever. This is a normal mechanism, but some women experience it hard and begin to seek recognition on the side – the resort novel in this case is ideal.
If in ordinary life between acquaintance and the first kiss can take weeks, then the resort romance resembles a film launched in the fast-rewind mode, when an hour and a half of experiences and joys of heroes are scrolled in 5 minutes. In this mode, feelings are obtained as much as possible “concentrated” – which should be achieved.
Princes and horses
And what if something serious comes of this? There is not a single woman who does not come to such a thought in a fit of unintended love. Those who are alone and “on the shore” could not find anyone, hope is especially strong. But the statistics of resort romances with their sequels gave birth to the famous phrase that the resort novel should end at the resort. In fact, both statements are extremes, so they are wrong. Relationships, tied up on vacation, are new acquaintances, and your further relationships depend on the ability to develop them, which can last even after you leave.
Tatyana Skritskaya notes an interesting detail: observations showed that if people in the pair already at the initial stage can defend their positions and find out the relationship, in the future their relationship will be successful. But usually we first strive for ideality (first of all, cultivating our own immaculate appearance), and the relationship begins to crumble much later, scratching on previously unseen roughness. It is emancipation, naturalness and openness that attracts people on vacation, so why remember the habitual model of behavior (to be ideal in everything, or to seem so), then to suffer the same from this image?
How to be one who is not alone and, nevertheless, fell for two weeks into a cycle of passion? Opinions on women’s forums are different: some believe that this gives a zest to the relationship (“I’ll throw myself on the neck of my beloved, inimitable”), others believe that you can not hide treason. Unfortunately, the second option is more truthful: Marina Markatun recalls that female psychology is different from the male one, and, most likely, the woman will be strangled with guilt. If anything, she will still repent. So if a woman already had a question – say or not say? – She is already on the hook at herself. And before you rush into the whirlpool of passions, which lasts no more than a week, think carefully – do you want obsessive thoughts, insomnia and feelings of guilt for the next year, or maybe longer?
Therefore, a safe novel on the side can only be a special type of ladies who, like men separate the eternal from the momentary, sex from love and important from the secondary. And they will never tell their loved one about treason. Cheating? Rather, understanding that in life, not everything happens in the plots of women’s novels, and it is much more diverse than the illusions that we limit ourselves.