31.10.2020

The Bizarre/NSFW things Truck Drivers have seen while on the road

Quick Editor’s Note: While a few of these are humorous, there is some slightly intense stuff below. So, if you’re not up for learning about what a ‘Lot Lizard’ is, the dangerous acts seemingly everyone commits while driving their vehicles or the freak accidents truck drivers witness on America’s roadways – maybe click out now.

“Not exactly NSFW, not horrific – but hilarious. My dad was a long-haul driver and was stopped for the night pretty close to where we live. My mom of course had gone to see him, so they had dinner, go back to the crowded parking lot, bumped uglies and probably conceived my brother.

When my mom was going to leave, my dad waited until after she got out of the truck to hand her some money, making her look like a girl he picked up somewhere. Lots of “me next!” coming from across the way. It’s my favorite story and I’ve probably told it more than they did.”

MediocreBottle

“Work for a 3PL and we had to permanently ban one of our carriers because our customer found the team of driver’s gang banging a lot lizard as they were waiting to be unloaded. Apparently when they got caught, one of the driver’s took off across the lot ass naked never to be seen again.”

bjernsthekid

“I had a lot lizard drop her false teeth on my junk. Really killed the mood.”

my_future_wife

“Pulled into a truck stop outside of Sacramento. Real dive. I just wanted some coffee and take a shit. As I’m walking through the lot I see some sketchy looking homeless guy yelling at truckers demanding money. I decide to avoid the situation, cut between some trucks and circle around the store. About a minute or two later I hear a gunshot.

The homeless guy shot a trucker in the head. Two other guys tackled him and held him for the police. I always wonder if I hadn’t decided to avoid him if that would have been me.”

Demonae

“A few times I’ve seen someone receiving road-head, and once I had a convertible of college-age girls flash me their tits. But the funniest was a guy driving down the road with his topless girlfriend or wife. He was just holding a boob. He wasn’t rubbing it, and they weren’t doing anything else. He was just driving down the road holding a massive titty.”

xuthakug

“Here’s one of many stories I have:

I was on my way back to the yard after a week-long run and stopped at the Pilot in Gary, IN for the night. I was pulling a reefer and found myself a slot in between two other reefers. Both of them had their cab lights on, but the truck to the left had his curtains closed. So I was sitting there, logging my hours, when I watched as a lot lizard opened the passenger door of the tractor to my left and climbed down.

She knocked on my door, I said, “No thanks”, and she started to walk to the truck to my right. She paused right in front of me, reached up inside her skirt, pulled out a used condom, dropped it on the ground in front of my truck, then went and knocked on the driver’s door of the truck to my right. The driver, who also watched the entire thing, opened the door and let her in.”

l0destone

“My father-in-law’s dad (grandfather-in-law?) was driving through a pretty sketchy part of New York in the 70’s. He was in Vietnam and not the nicest human. I guess there was an area known for truckers getting robbed due to the slow moving traffic.

Just cut your lines and take your shit. He was driving through this area and a dude just hopped up on the steps of his cab. So since he was holding his .45 (presumably for this reason) shot the dude point blank in the chest and just kept going. Somehow nothing came of it. Pretty insane in my opinion.”

VoodooChile1994

“I watched a woman driving snort white powder off of a CD case with a kid in a car seat in the back. Tennessee.”

SurfingWhiskeyWaves

“This is nothing NSFW but it involves a trucker. I remember taking a peek at my uncle’s paycheck back in 1993 and that fucker was clearing $2,500 a week.”

macjumperson

Via Jon Rawlinson/Flickr

“I had just started working for a large corporate company. There was extra money to be made if your first truck a recovery truck(Someone quits and just leaves a truck somewhere, you get a ride with another driver and pick it up). This truck happened to be on the US/Canada line, at the inspection station. I see the truck sitting there, with this crate strapped to the back on the 5th wheel it’s maybe 4x6x3 which is odd. I go into the customs station. Tell them I am here to get the truck and show them my paperwork. The guy at the desk give me this you poor fool look, and says “I hope you have a strong stomach,” and gives me the keys. I go to the truck and open the door, the smell of shit, and other human body odors, just about knocks me on my ass. This truck is a wreck inside. There’s a pile of shit about 2 feet high against the side of sleeper. The mattress is just soaked with piss. One of the cabinets was filled with shit.

Turns out the last driver was busted when he tried to cross the border with the truck. Got stopped for an inspection. Needless to say, the smell tipped off the inspectors. The better things to list is they found. Two naked women tied up in the sleeper, a loaded .38 special, Trafficable amounts of cocaine. Needless to say, he was locked up. The crate on the back of the truck was all his personal effect they were not keeping as evidence. I did not drive that truck back. I have no clue what they did with it.”

Rarnah

“I’m a little late to this party but this is a pretty interesting story. My mom was a truck driver for a little bit when I was just out of high school. I took a trip with her from Texas to Louisiana. Stopped at a truck stop outside Baton Rouge. We got approached by a prostitute. My mom said she wasn’t interested because she wasn’t gay. The prostitute said, “I’m both male and female, I have a vagina and penis.”

My mom being the curious sort she is asked how that was possible they said, “I’m a real hermaphrodite, I was born with a working vagina and penis.” My mom said she would give them $10 to see. They agreed. This person had a vaginal opening, testicles, and a working penis. We ended up talking with them for about 30 minutes about hermaphroditism. It was a pretty interesting conversation.”

JeanineDeLaFonta

“Used to assist in liability claims for trucking companies. What a nightmare. Best NSFW stories involved the MULTIPLE time’s that truckers ended up in the back of their trucks trying to score with a lovely lady … who then proceeded to rob them blind and/or steal the cab. We had TWO calls in one month involving truckers in Texas where the drivers were found naked in the back of their trucks with no wallets or ID at all. The police were calling us to identify them and figure out how to get them back on the road. One guy lost a full load from Circuit City because he thought it was his “lucky day.” Didn’t matter how many times we warned the drivers or told the stories.

SFW was the guy who stopped off at home en route to deliver a load. Found his wife with her boyfriend getting cozy. He walked back to the truck, put it in gear and parked it in their living room. No one died but try to explain to your insurance carrier how this was an “accident.”

dschoemaker

Via mackenzie and john/Flickr

“About 20 years ago I was heading down Snowshoe on I-80 in Pennsylvania. Flatbed passed me, and after he got about a 1/4 mile in front of me the brake lights came on and he started swerving all over, ended up in the median, upright but jack-knifed into the driver side. Turns out he hit a bear, which went through the windshield. Bear survived it and went on attack mode.

I and 2 other drivers got to him in time to see this bear flipping out inside the cab attacking the guy. Right behind us was a state trooper. He ran up to the truck yanked the passenger door open and shot the bear twice, Bear turned around and started towards him and he unloaded into it. That guy was torn the fuck up and no he didn’t make it.”

Zugzub

“At one of the Casinos I worked security at in Henderson La. had the rare occurrence of lot lizards, so as I’m making my rounds around the parking lot I saw a trucker pick one up, now normally we can’t do anything about it cause hey fuck it you do what you gotta do, but today I was gonna tell this person after they were done with their transaction they had to leave cause it’s considered loitering.

I start to walk up and I hear the driver go “So you’ll do anything for $50?” And she said yeah and I swear to god the dude without missing a beat told her “Awesome I need someone to clean out my truck” I could not stop laughing.”

metalpunk95

“Trucker here… I was at a truck stop outside Los Angeles, walking in with my co-driver for a shower. A fairly attractive lot lizard walks up to me with a cheesy grin and asked if I had any change. I dug deep in my pocket and pulled out a week’s worth of change. It was probably five or six dollars worth, mostly nickels, dimes, and pennies.

She stood there dumbfounded as I walked off. My friend said you know that was a hooker, right? I replied “yep”. He said, “You know she didn’t want change, right?” I said “I know. She didn’t have any pockets, and I wanted to know where she was going to put it”. I never found out. She stood there clutching it with both hands.”

kicknschit

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