Anyone who has raised children or grown up with siblings knows there are some bumpy times in a child’s life.
When the smallest upset causes a major tantrum. Or when it’s close to impossible to get them out the door on time for school. Or when your adorable angel acts like a wild animal.
But some children’s tantrums, irritability and defiance well exceed that typically found among healthy children of the same age. This can be overwhelming for the best of parents, especially as children advance in age.
And it doesn’t help that reactions from loved ones and strangers often leave parents feeling judged for their defeats in the disciplinary arena.
Over the past decade, our research team at the The University of Sydney’s Child Behaviour Research Clinic (CBRC) has treated aggression, non-compliance, rule-breaking and excessive tantrums in children aged two to 16.
Scientists have revealed how parents can deal with toddlers’ temper tantrums (stock)
HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITH TODDLERS’ TEMPER TANTRUMS?
According to Professor David Hawes, from The University of Sydney, parents should:
- Reward good behaviour with affection and short bursts of attention
- Praise actions that represent a change in behaviour
For instance, rewarding children for tidying away their toys when they previously left them out
- Respond to bad behaviour immediately with a clear explanation of what they are doing wrong
- If they continue to misbehave, immediately place them in a ‘time out’
Time out is an isolated, boring place where they have to sit for a period of time, for example two minutes.
Source: The Conversation
We’ve used these insights to develop a free online program of evidence-based strategies for parents, called ParentWorks.
The good news is, programs such as ours can help most children with problem behaviours to better control their emotions and, therefore, their behaviour.
Such treatment has the strongest effects in the preschool to early primary school years.
Relatively brief interventions of around eight weeks at this age often produce greater gains than those achieved with more complex interventions delivered later in adolescence.
What types of behaviour are we talking about?
Common warning signs that your child’s behaviour may be getting out of control include:
1) When oppositional behaviour not only occurs regularly, but also interferes with family life.
This might cause the family to constantly be late because of delays leaving the house, or to avoid social events where tantrums might occur.
2) When stress arising from child issues spills over into the rest of the family, such as the parents’ own relationship.
3) When the child’s behaviour leaves parents feeling flooded by emotions that overwhelm their usual coping skills.
4) When children seem driven to elicit escalating and emotionally charged parental reactions, even when punitive or distressing to all.
We now understand these ‘behavioural’ problems are often just as equally ’emotional’ problems.
This means that the best interventions not only reduce problem behaviours, but also help children build solid skills in self-regulation.
Such foundations form the base of their mental health in childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
Tantrums become serious when they affect family life or parents’ abilities to cope (stock)
