Expansion of various eastern traditions brought a modern woman a lot of useful and necessary, despite the fact that most often only an external form of practice is reproduced – yoga, belly dancing, Taoist practices.
One of the most mysterious phenomena of the East is tantra. It is unlikely that today we are able to understand the depth of this teaching, but we can use at least some ancient knowledge and practices for our development. The correspondent of SE made an attempt to touch the ancient teaching of tantra, to find out how it can be useful to a modern woman and how it affects sexual relations.
To begin with, tantra is a whole complex of traditions in various religions, very multifaceted and difficult for an unprepared person to perceive. In Sanskrit, “tantra” literally means continuity, a thread or a loom. TAN – to expound, expand, blossom, TPA – an instrument. Hence tantra is an instrument that expands consciousness.
Initially tantra had nothing to do with sex. Those practices that are becoming increasingly popular today and work mainly with sexual energy, it is more appropriate to call neotantra – they represent only a small segment of the ancient teachings. The main process of neotantry is tantric sex. In order to fully experience all its charms, it is necessary to undergo certain training related to the development of sensitivity, the ability to sense and control one’s energy.
Doctor-psychotherapist, the leading trainer in tantra Petr Ostrikov talks about the differences between tantric sex and the usual:
• Tantric sex is more prolonged due to the fact that the process of contact with a loved one is important in it, whereas in ordinary sex the result is important – orgasm. Such sex can continue even after when the partners got out of bed – the mutual feeling of the partner remains, energy contact remains.
• Ordinary sex is more or less restricted to the genitals, and the whole body is involved in the tantric by expanding the range of perception.
• Because tantric sex is longer, it is filled with energy, not loss, as in ordinary sex. In addition, it is possible to feel the partner more subtly here, because the usual excitement from novelty, from the kind of a loved one, from touching it, is gone, and this is a loss of energy.
As a rule, after a certain time after the beginning of a relationship in a couple, interest to each other fades away, outbursts of feelings occur less and less, and sex becomes ordinary and does not bring joy. Partners reach a certain point and do not know that something is possible.
In addition, despite the relative freedom of the sexual sphere today, many people find it difficult to frankly talk with their partner about sex, about their desires, and many are embarrassed by their body. Because of this, there is a powerful distortion of the sexual area, which affects the state of health (enslavement in the pelvic region, cystitis, infertility, etc. ), understanding and acceptance of their sexuality.
Tantra allows us to expand the border to which we allow a partner. She suggests to go together in depth, into a new experience. As a result of such joint practices, the relations change qualitatively, become more interesting and stronger. Partners can talk about everything, allow each other to be any – and joyful, and sad, and annoyed.
From the point of view of psychology, tantra is able to help us see and accept our partner as he is, not as we would like or we are accustomed to seeing him. And this is the basis on which really strong relations can be built. According to Peter Ostrikov, the main thing that gives tantra to a woman is an opportunity to learn its own uniqueness and value, to get rid of the fear of loneliness, to become freer and more honest in relations with oneself and with others, to become truly sexual.
A sexy woman is one in which sexual energy flows freely. When you are with her, it feels like an inner strength, and she can not show it, but she is present and changes the woman and the attitude towards her from others.
Natalia Panina, a psychologist, a masseur, a member of the Association of Body-Oriented Therapists of Russia, also says that a woman has very large energy resources in the ovaries, and tantra allows activating this energy and directing it up the spinal column through energy centers (the so-called kundalini energy) . Tantra, according to Natalia, helps a woman to know true love and beauty and learn how to give her.
In Novosibirsk there are two popular tantra trainings – one of them is led by Peter Ostrikov, the other is Moscow’s Lev Teternikov, the author of books and original techniques on tantra yoga. Both are standing, and about 3000-4000 rubles for two days.
About the filling of his training, Peter Ostrikov says more as a process around the tantra. There is a plunge into the unconscious, where there live hidden prohibitions, fears. They can meet, feel and overcome, become freer, learn how to express emotions openly and talk about sex, about one’s desires. The training is filled with exercises that allow you to feel your energy and energy of another person, to reveal in your personality those layers that lie beyond the boundaries of social realization, they provide the opportunity to experience various contacts with other people, your feelings and emotions.
The widespread myth that at such trainings they go naked and indulge in debauchery is, of course, unreasonable – the training does not pursue such goals. Moreover, each participant chooses the border for himself, to which he is ready to go.
The contingent of training in tantra is different – from successful executives and business owners to young students. Unites their desire to find a more harmonious version of relationships, including sexual ones. Also, many people are divorced or on the verge of divorce, wanting to find and fix their mistakes. Often, if a person came to the training alone, then he leads his partner.
Basic tantric practices are simple enough and suitable for home use. Natalia Panina and Peter Ostrikov are advised to do the following to develop their sexuality.
To do one:
• It is more often to think that you are not only a mother, a wife and an employee, but above all a woman.
• Sing songs about love.
• More often to study the body and to find with it contact: to find the erogenic zones, to study the sexuality – if the woman is able to itself to give pleasure, she can any man to explain, that it is necessary for her.
• Touch yourself in a variety of ways, as well as using a pen, brushes, various fabrics, etc.
• Exercise vaginal muscles – alternately strain and relax the muscles of the vagina. Exercise for an unauthorized look is imperceptible, so you can do it at any time of the day and in any room.
To do with a partner:
• Sit opposite and look into each other’s eyes. Feel your pelvic region and heart area, try to feel what happens to the partner. Feeling the desire, go to the proximity, slowly and gently touch the partner, feeling how through your fingers he is given love and tenderness. Touch the most unexpected sites.
• Find a few pieces of different fabric (silk, corduroy, cotton, fur) and remember how they differ by touch. Then ask the loved one to touch any of these tissues, and you will guess it, following your sensations.
• Take a bath together. Slowly wash each other, gently touching the partner’s body, trying to deliver as much pleasure as possible.
• Try to have sex with a partner at a very slow pace. This technique is called “karetsa” (translated from Italian means “tenderness”). Try to be aware of every minute and avoid “forgetting the whirlwind of passions”, as in ordinary sex. Watch closely each other’s reactions, do not close your eyes.
This list can be continued indefinitely. Perhaps you will want to attend a tantra training and get a new experience for development there. In the opinion of the author of the article, the best place to get such experience is your space with a partner filled with love, openness and trust. Boring night to you!