April 24, 2024

Soft ghosting is the incredibly frustrating new dating trend you need to know about

This newly-coined term refers to when you’re messaging on Facebook or Instagram and rather than the other person replying to that message you’ve spent hours poring over, they instead like your most recent message but offer no genuine response. We’ve all been there.

You’ve navigated ghosting, Scrooging, Kondo-ing, paperclipping (along with every other damn dating trend under the sun) but there’s one more to add to your list of rejection methods.

According to Louise Troen, VP of International Media and Communications at Bumble, ‘soft ghosting‘ is the latest in a long line of dating terms.

Here, Louise breaks down exactly what soft ghosting is and how to handle it in the most empowering way possible.

What is soft ghosting?

Soft ghosting is when someone responds to another person’s text message with a like or any other “reaction” like a heart but offers no genuine response.

Four simple ways to handle soft ghosting
  1. Unlike straight ghosting, soft ghosting can leave you feeling confused. When you are ghosted, the best way to deal with it and start the healing process straight away is to accept the situation and move on, therefore seeking closure. With soft ghosting, since your match has replied in some respect, it can be unclear if they are trying to end the conversation. It also puts the person who sent the last ‘official’ message in a strange position, do you leave it? Do you double message?
  2. The first step to tackling this situation is to not jump to conclusions. Give the other person time to respond. Although technology has given us the ability to communicate all the time, it does not mean we are available all the time. Bumble recently launched ‘Snooze’, a feature which allows users to update who they are speaking to that they are taking a time out from social networking because we know how important it is to prioritise yourself every now and then.
  3. If you are keen to keep the conversation going, there are no rules about how long to wait before double messaging. Remember to try and not assume anything as being lost in translation, cultural communication differences or generational nuances may play into how people respond – so it’s crucial to not assume anything in the initial instance. However it’s important to remember that whilst your match might just be busy or taking a time out, if you don’t feel like you’re receiving the level of engagement that suits you, it might be best to move on from this conversation and explore new opportunities.
  4. If you’ve not set plans to meet up, this doesn’t automatically mean they’ve ghosted you. Some people do need a more clear call to action so ignoring the liked messages and diverting to a meeting to assesses their seriousness is a good move. Suggest a time and place and judge the reaction from there. If there is no response – it’s likely a soft ghost and you can move on knowing it would have been a waste of time anyway. The tactics for dealing with this situation are simple, don’t torture yourself by replaying the situation over and over again and remember it was probably a ‘them and not you’ situation.

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