The question is, should a woman provide herself, as old as the world.At one time, feminists won the right to work and wages. Today, when emancipation has ceased to be a fashionable theme, many people again admit: doing housework and baking pies was not so bad.
At the same time, even a working husband is not a guarantee of prosperity in the family today, and women have to work not for self-assertion, but for the sake of money. And on this way, the female difficulties still a lot.
What prevents to earn a modern woman, the correspondent of SHE found out.
Competition with men
If it comes to earnings, a woman is immediately compared to a man. And it’s not just that. To build a career being a man is still easier. For example, the recruitment agency People of Cases confirmed: for some positions, primarily managers, women are still reluctantly refused or even refused – even if the employee’s experience and skills are in line.
A woman is a potential child, and children are potential problems, the employer argues. “Social stereotypes outweigh reality. There are women who are ready to go to work one week after the birth, but this option is not for everyone. In general, children under 16 years weigh on the employee’s anamnesis in the eyes of the employer, “complains Alena Alferova, director of HeadHunter in Novosibirsk.
“A person is worth as much as he values himself,” Rabelais said. Modern realities echo him: those who know how to present themselves can make money. The inability to use, or rather – to demonstrate their abilities has destroyed more than one career. And what is interesting is that uncertainty is not just a weak belief in one’s knowledge, but rather a stubborn belief in ignorance and inability: a person who believes in weakness makes a vital position “I am no good”. According to Igor Pozhidaev, a psychotherapist at the Sibneymore Center,
this vital position is often very convenient, since it allows you to manipulate others: they take on all the difficulties.
Remember the child who asks for handles: he asks for one, two, and then learns that if you pretend to be weak, you can go all your life around your neck.
Too many thoughts at once
Problems arise in women and in terms of work organization, but not because we are all scattered klushi. On the contrary, it is believed that a woman is better able to self-organize in the workplace. The problem is different, namely, the ability of men to abstract. “It is in the psyche that a woman is engaged in all current family issues, and a man can always give more deeply to a certain kind of activity, and therefore, achieve something significant in the profession,” says Marina Gavrilova, director of the Center for Professional Career Development. So, a man earns food without thoughts about bills and children’s morning performance: he is so laid by nature.
Hope for a man
The weakness described above is often superimposed on the habitual social distribution of roles: a weak woman, a strong man, and he must earn. It is this stereotype that all the experts interviewed called, perhaps, the most important in modern realities.
“It goes into the unconscious: many women wait until the last that the man will provide them. Only when there is a stressful situation and comes the understanding that there is no help to wait, the woman starts to develop, rely on herself, “Marina Gavrilova admits.
There are women who always experience a shortage of money, regardless of real income. They just spend too much. With the growth of incomes, expenses increase, and irrepressible shopping turns into a catastrophe: there is no food in the refrigerator, but cabinets are crammed with new blouses. From the point of view of psychology, as Igor Pozhidaev explained, this is usually caused by the so-called external, that is, externally oriented behavior: instead of creating internal guidelines for oneself, developing one’s own solution, a person follows the imposed external ones. And the main message of modernity, as you know, is consumption.
“Today it is often imposed: to be rich, you need to earn more. As a result, those who start to earn more, stop watching the expenditure. The other extreme is when it says that the main thing is to save. As a result, a person begins to settle for less, and gradually his income decreases. Both these and other chains are dead-end. The ideal option is to learn how to earn and reasonably save. And this happens only through personal development, when a person knows how to distinguish imposed values from his personal, “- says business coach Alexander Vasenev.
Finally, even those who earn well and feel reasonable can feel an eternal shortage of money. This is called the psychology of poverty.
“It may be unusual for a person to have a situation when he has enough for everything, and even increasing his level of well-being, he will create situations in which he habitually lacks money.
For example, he quickly squanders all the money, gets into debt, he can even lose money or create situations when he will have to steal a purse. And all this happens unconsciously, “Marina Gavrilova explains. Relatively speaking, a person does not know how to “digest” the amount of money that has come to him, and seeks to return to his usual state, even if he is accustomed to poverty.
However, any complications are good enough to allow you to look at the situation from a new angle. Not every woman wants to become a husband in a skirt and spend the night in the service. Someone has enough family happiness and a favorite, albeit not the most profitable work.