On September 1, looking at his smart baby with a huge bouquet, parents with affection brush away tears and rejoice that a new stage in the life of the child begins.
The importance of this stage can not be overemphasized: from how the child will feel at school, his future life largely depends on his attitude towards himself and others, interests and goals, and the ability to communicate with people.
But, unfortunately, often with a step in this adult life, the child begins no less adult problems. And most often at a difficult time it is the help and support of parents that the student needs most. Anna Berdnikova, family psychologist of the Insight Clinic, told how parents can help the child solve school problems.
Interview with a child psychologist about the most common problems of first-graders
Now schools make such demands for first-graders, that if the child does not read by the age of 7, this is considered a deviation. Is it so? When do you need to start preparing for school?
The inability to read and write at seven years is not considered a deviation, although a sensitive (most appropriate) period for mastering the reading of 5-6 years. Beginning from this age, the child can consciously learn to read and read with interest. Learning to read before school is necessary first of all for the mental comfort of the child in the classroom, where he will come and where the vast majority of children can read – and, accordingly, the teacher will be guided, rather, by the reading majority.
Many parents complain that their child is difficult to learn, because it is not interesting. How can you interest him?
That the child was interested, it is necessary to develop his desire to learn: to answer questions when he is at the age of “pochemchki”, not to brush it off, by personal example to show enthusiasm for his studies, to organize for the child an interesting and varied leisure without locking the baby in computer and TV.
Entering a new team is always difficult for the child. How can parents prepare him for this?
The answer to this question depends largely on the personality characteristics of the child. First-grader parents can help by organizing a wide range of contacts before school, teaching by personal example, discussing complex communicative situations: why did Petya say so, and Vasya so answered, but could they do otherwise? Trustful communication also helps to survive and enter the new team at an older age.
It is important for parents to remain calm. If the child feels the anxiety of his mother, he will never believe that everything is easy and simple.
You can go to the children’s team in advance, where you have to learn, tell about your positive experience.
What should parents do if the child is “poisoned”? Should I intervene, talk to other parents, a teacher?
Interfere is necessary. A child in such difficult circumstances is important to feel that he is not alone, that his loved ones are nearby and support him. It is better in this situation to start with a conversation with a school psychologist. This is a person who is inside a situation that is interested in the world within the class and at the same time does not worry about his own child. If it is a pupil of an elementary school, parents for their part can help by organizing an event for the class. A hike or an interesting excursion will help make the child important for the class.
And if the problem is with the teacher himself?
In this case, it is also better to start with a conversation with a psychologist. It will help to understand, whether the problem in the relations with the teacher is exact and will offer the variants of the decision.
It happens, on the contrary, the parents of classmates complain about the child, he behaves aggressively. What can be done in this case?
Better, of course, to the complaints of parents not to bring. Most likely, the child for some reason has the opinion that, by doing so, he will gain authority in the classroom. It is necessary to check whether this is the case after talking with the child. Having convinced yourself of this, consider with him other opportunities to consolidate your authority, based on his talents and abilities: what else can you do to make your opinion weighty in the eyes of others.
Often parents do not like the new baby company. Do you need to control who and how he communicates? Is it worth to check the phone, pockets “for his own good”?
If a child has something to hide, such tests will teach him to be more sophisticated. Checks are a demonstration of distrust, which is bound to be mutual. It is better to ask him about friends, invite them to visit to personally meet them – perhaps the company is not as bad as it seems at first glance. If the company still causes suspicion from you – talk to the child, but not categorically “you do not communicate with them any more!”, But deliberately.
Sometimes in a class children from families with a different material status study. What if a child is teased, if he suffers from the fact that he does not have such toys as his classmates, and begins to demand them?
First, it is important to find out how much pressure the child is subjected to.Secondly, it is necessary to understand whether the child attracts children of wealthy parents with something other than expensive things. Thirdly, to find other ways of self-affirmation that are suitable for a particular child.
How can you help if the child does not manage to study, does not want to study?
At all do not leave it alone with this problem, it is necessary to be engaged with the child. Most often, the reaction of parents is pity for him. But, feeling it, the child becomes more and more convinced of his weakness and worthlessness. Empathize, but do not feel compassionate, trying to help him. Refrain from trying to beg, persuade to do school assignments. Create conditions in which the child can not answer: “I can not, I do not know.” Put first a task in which the child will succeed, and then gradually complicate it. Sincerely praise it. After some time, such a fractional statement of the problem will no longer be required. The child will be able to concentrate himself and from the beginning to the end to do his homework, because now he knows for sure that this task is up to him,
Do I need to punish a child for bad grades?
No, he has already been punished with his sad experiences. If a child is punished for bad grades, it will not encourage him to learn better, it will prompt him to hide bad grades.