People try to rationalize why they cheated, turns out they’re just *ssholes

People suck. There’s not really any other way to explain why people cheat on their partners. And wouldn’t you know it, when shitty people get caught cheating, they have equally shitty excuses for why they did it.

People shared the stupidest answers they got after catching their partner cheating, and the way they rationalize their awful behavior is absolutely mind-blowing.

“She is a shark and you are a rabbit. She took what she wanted and you let this happen to you. Sharks eat rabbits.”

Okay… I think I’ll just hippity hop right on out of this stupidity.

The guy she was banging was apparently closer to God than I was

“Remember when we talked about having an open relationship

No I don’t remember that…… at all

“I didn’t want him to go to prom alone”.

Okay but did you have to fuck him afterwards?

“It was his birthday”

I shit you not.

“I didn’t say it was right, I just don’t care”

“It’s not really cheating because I don’t love you anymore. I just think of you as a really good friend.”

8 years together, engaged to be married

“I thought you were cheating on me, so I got revenge!”

“I’ve cheated with everyone I’ve ever been in a relationship with”

Why would you not tell me that before we got into a relationship?

“I only got with you in the first place because my dog died”

“You’re not going to believe me…”

(fifteen minutes of demanding an answer)

“this has happened before. I was accused of doing something and people even saw me do it but it wasn’t really me. It was my double-self. My family was cursed back in Nigeria”

(damn right I didn’t believe him)

“You’re racist if you don’t believe me.”


I caught her cheating on me with someone I knew. Someone I kinda figured she was seeing behind my back and had brought it up to her before.

Her defense was accusing me of being jealous so apparently I made her do it. Me being right is somehow my fault? I just…what.

“I didn’t think you’d find out.”

We had been together for 8 years, married for 3 months and had a young child together when this happened. We are no longer married.

“Well you were looking at porn. It’s the same thing.”

“Well, you said you love and accept me for who I am with all my flaws! So you also have to accept that I’m sleeping with other women because this is just how I am!”

Uh, no I guess not.

“I dont understand American culture.”

That was a pretty good one.


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