We don’t have a fucking doorbell: So a couple years I moved out of state with a boyfriend. Was super excited about it but with reason had anxiety about being so far from friends and family. One of the ways my anxiety was coming out was with nightmares and night terrors. I’d wake up violently sitting up in a cold sweat, gasping and whatnot. On one particular night I had woken up the sound of our doorbell ringing. Which at 4 in the morning is fucking nerve wracking. So I shook my boyfriend fully awake and told him I heard the doorbell and to go check it because I was scared. He quickly jumps up. Puts on clothes and grabs a bat. Goes all the way to the front door and opens it. I, scared shitless, am peeking around the corner watching it all go down. I see him step outside and I nervously await the verdict of the situation when I hear him call out to me. “Babe? ” And I respond real shaky, “Yes? ” He stands in the doorway with a real frustrated tired look in his eyes and says, “We don’t have a fucking doorbell. ”
“A woman I was sleeping with would only get off if I pretended to be her brother.
She had no siblings so I said whatever and went with it. ”
“Girl ran onto the kitchen came back with a cup of ice and stuffed the ice in her…and told me to fuck her. I did. It was cold. I think I’d do it again lol. ”
“Was asked to tickle her until she wet herself.
We gave up after like an hour and a half…”
“I’m a girl and my fiance asked me during our first year if I’d dress up as Kurt Cobain and let him fuck my butt because he had/has a crush on Kurt Cobain. Five years later and I THINK he was joking but I’ve never asked. ”
“He asked me to wash my hair in the sink while he watched and jerked off. ”
“A woman wanted me to mash her clit with all of my weight once. With my thumb. Other thumb stacked on top. Leaning my full weight on it. No rubbing, no motion, she literally used the word mash. Lo and behold she came buckets. Never seen anything like it before or since. She says push on it. So I put a little pressure. Push harder she says. Harder. She starts to get a little flushed. Mash it. Unnggg. Fucking mash it harddddd. Haaarrrddddd. All the sudden she’s doing the wookie impression. ”
“Girl told me she was into “orgasm denial. ” I wasn’t sure what that was but I knew I would be really good at it. ”
“My ex liked it when I would make her hold her piss in until she wet herself. I wasn’t really into it at first, but did it for her. ”
“She wanted to drop a log on my chest. No thanks, I’m not a lumberjack. ”
“I’m very late to this, but my boyfriend has asked me multiple times that when we have a house with a backyard, we set up a tarp and cover ourselves in lube and have at it”
“I got asked to cum on her feet every time we had sex. ”
“Not me, but my buddy brought a girl home from the bar that was a solid 10. She put newspaper down in her living room and at this point my buddies wondering wtf is going on. She then told him she was going to shit on the newspaper and then wanted to do anal without her wiping her ass. Reluctantly he actually agreed because she was pretty damn hot, shit or no shit lol. Was totally weirded out but never got back together with her when she called him a few times asking to do it again lol. ”
“Had a girl that got off on fresh haircuts. After a couple unplanned haircuts, I noped out of that relationship. The guy who dated her after me looked like he was getting weekly haircuts. He also looked very miserable. ”
“I know a girl who makes all of her exes lifecast their penises so she can turn them into dildos. she keeps all of them.
I am not one of them. ”
“Got asked to go down on a girl while wearing a wetsuit, mask, snorkel, and fins. In hindsight, you can spank the hell out of some ass with fins. ”
“To put on a thong and pull the straps over my shoulders to make a mega camel-toe. Years later when Borat came out, his swimsuit definitely made me chuckle. ”
“To properly punch her in the face, it was just the most bizarre request. ”
“Girl put on her swim goggles and had me jerk off in her face and take photos. ”
“She wanted me to drown her while fucking her, she had a legit drowning bucket. It was like a mop bucket on wheels, she filled it up half way. She wanted to lay on the bed on her stomach me on top with her head hanging off the bed and to force her head under while she struggled for air. ”
“She wants me to dress up in full all-black motorcycle gear, no skin visible. strap on a fairly large robot themed dildo and fuck her really roughly and make absolutely no noise. ”
