Coincidence of interests
The first question that worries the parents of a baby who was not lucky enough to spend many hours of childhood, if not with mom, then with her grandmother, is the age of a potential nanny. The image of the teacher of Pushkin bothers the hearts of the parents so far, and as a result, for their child, they are looking for a woman aged. It is believed that a woman who raised her children and departed from the bustle of youth, with other children’s children will be more successful. Tatiana, looking for a nanny for a son and a half through the NGS website, shared with a correspondent of SE that the young girl would prefer an adult woman, wise and experienced and years: “The young have their own interests, personal life and entertainment. In addition, they are less accommodating in terms of payment, “- says Tatiana. She is ready to pay the nurse up to 17 thousand rubles, but she does not wait,
The cost of babysitting for a full weekday fluctuates today around 13-20 thousand rubles, and if you need a nanny for a short period – prepare to lay out from 80 to 100 rubles per hour.
At the same time, according to the agencies for recruiting home staff, the smaller the amount that parents are willing to pay, the older the nanny will be: pensioners are usually rather modest in their claims. In addition, it is from this category that most databases are formed on the residual principle – younger women do not agree to all working conditions. Many mothers who bring a nanny into the house, hang on it, in addition to caring for the child, also a lot of household duties, which are not stipulated by the contract. At the same time, compassionate women of the age themselves do not mind helping a busy business woman around the house.
It would seem an ideal option for parents and nannies. However, the family consultant of the Insight Clinic, Anna Berdnikova, notes that a constant stay in a woman’s house at an age will be conflict-free if the views on life at parents and at the chosen nanny ideally coincide. If not, conflicts are almost guaranteed. A young nanny is usually more flexible, and eventually, with the right approach, according to the psychologist, it can be “adjusted to suit yourself.”
“Recently a young girl who has experience, recommendations and pedagogical education wanted to settle down, but I had to refuse her because there are no young people demand. After all, a young woman in the house is always an additional risk, “complains the director of the” Happy Family “Elena Yevseyenko.
Anna Berdnikova notes that the moment of competition is really present in a woman who is forced to give up to some extent from her female-family responsibilities in favor of a nanny. In addition, a middle-aged woman is close in age to the mother of a busy parent. A mother always knows better and can take responsibility for herself – this is already a subconscious psychological message that inclines a woman to choose a nanny for pre-retirement age. But from the point of view of psychology, the fundamental difference between the fact that a child will be brought up by a nanny is 30 or 60 years, no.
For many parents, age plays a secondary role, more important is child safety. But here it is necessary to be upset. “It is very difficult to give any official guarantees today. The maximum that we can do is check the applicants for the databases. In our legislation there are no corresponding laws – everything is decided at the level of conversations, the use of ties. We are forced to spend money on this, cooperating with the security service, in order to somehow secure our customers, “says Lyubov Vasilyeva, the client manager for Time for Business and Holiday.
In practice, the matter is usually limited to the collection of passport information and recommendations: word of mouth is still the most common method of finding home staff.
Limits and Opportunities
Lyubov Vasilieva notes that from time to time there are situations when the mother refuses to come over all the parameters of nannies only because the child has become very attached to her. In other respects, as employees of the agencies say, the nanny is usually chosen by the children themselves:
“To one of the candidates, the children refuse to go, despite all attempts, and to others they stretch from the first minutes of communication. And for the parents, of course, this is a decisive factor in concluding the contract, “- says Lyubov Vasilyeva.
The frank rejection of babysitting by a child can be expected if your offspring have reached a conscious age: he already understands everything and may well refuse to change his mother to a nanny. In this case, it is worth trying to make them friends, but attempts should not last more than a week or two, and it is desirable that the parent be there. If the effort is not successful, leave them for a while and think about one more fact: “A child who spends most of his time not with his parents does not necessarily grow up unhappy, but you have to realize that he really will not be quite a child their parents, “- says Anna Berdnikova. This can only be countered by the refusal of one’s own laziness on weekends – the only chance to intensively communicate with the child and somehow fill the shortage of parenthood on weekdays.