We are together three and a half years, the young man very often changes jobs. More precisely, it is often fired. The long-term as he managed to stay in one place for six months. New job looking for a long time. Now six months can not get anywhere. Says he’s looking for, but do not take him. We often swear. He loves beer – I find it annoying. I love him very much, but I don’t know what to do. I do not understand what it is: laziness or just bad luck?
Tatiana, short answer, it’s not laziness or bad luck, inability to build lasting relationships at the workplace. Sometimes it’s called “finding yourself.” Perhaps the partner has not yet found the field, which will allow him to feel in “his” place.
Your relationship lasted a long time, then the young man is capable of a long-term relationship, and “restlessness” applies only to the work. But maybe the fact that you occupy too accepting and supportive attitude towards the partner. Then he just feels a need to change something.
The employer will not adjust to the objectionable conduct of the employee, but you somehow adapt and endure. Your loved one allows himself what you don’t approve, but nothing risk. While you suffer this situation, you agree to support. Why did he have to adapt to a new circumstances and difficult people, if it is, without risking to be on the street, can just quit and start looking for the “perfect” conditions?
Of course, relations involve support and assistance in difficult situations. But also important interchange. You may get something that allows you have long put up with an unemployed status of the partner. Label partner of the limits of their patience. But if they are endless, it is unlikely the situation when things will change.