28.02.2021

I always think that girlfriends guys better

I noticed one peculiarity: what would the young man next to me was, I always think others are better. First, we are all fine, but then you start to get to its downsides. I seem to convince myself: “Look, friends, guys can do this and yours can’t do anything”. Begin to be ashamed of, because to think that he is not too good. In the end, there is dissatisfaction with the relationship. When you break up, you know that the guy did everything for me and endured the whims. How to get rid of these stupid thoughts?

Maria, 24 years

Мне постоянно кажется, что у подруг парни лучше

Of course, there are shortcomings in all. Try to do this kind of work. Make a list of what you dislike in people, what annoys you, what is not ready to accept. Arrange the paragraphs in descending order, starting with the most severe “crimes” to the lungs.

Consider this list from this point of view: what from this list is inherent to you? Put in front of each of the quality assessment of the intensity of manifestation in your character from 0 to 10. Then to relate the qualities that you do not like, with someone from the family and those closest to you. You will find that even the most difficult and unpleasant qualities and you and someone close to gaining at least 1 point. Perhaps this will reduce the desire to criticize guys.

It will be useful to try to meet with an unpleasant qualities in yourself, work on them.

The idea that the partner is not good enough, may be inferred also from the fact that you generally are difficult choices. Preferring anything we refuses other possibilities. Poor understanding of what we want, where we go that love can make you suffer in the election – everything seems to be equal, equally good or equally bad. Between partners this is reflected in the fact that you don’t really understand what you value in a man. What is generally valuable in man. What you are looking for in relationships? Try also to make a list of important good qualities that you value most in people. And let’s see what of this you have, and what is your partner?

Please note whether to allocate a separate, independent of the traits of the other person as valuable? For example, sometimes these lists can consist only of points: he was nice to me, cares about me, understands me well. You have to learn to separate the really important features and qualities and those that we can forgive others as easily as we forgive them.

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