25.02.2021

I think classmates, I discuss

The impression that classmates remember all that I have said the words and then discuss in a negative way. I notice their looks, behavior. Those who are with me friends, find an excuse to limit contact. In this situation it is necessary to either keep quiet or make their opinion has lost importance for me. How to stop reacting and to survive?

Margarita, 22 years

Мне кажется, одногруппники, меня обсуждают

People tend to talk to others, that such exchange of information. But you too suffer from this, even though not sure of the veracity of events. Also you don’t know for sure that the discussion goes in a negative way.

Classmates are all different – different in their views, vision and assessment. If you limit communication, it is not necessarily due to the fact that you are not “so” bad and stuff. Sometimes people just do not match, do not match each other. But must be someone from the group who are with you comfortable and fun.

You aspire to be a part of a team, to communicate, to interact. Now it is your society. Think whether you have personally emotional independence, as well as about what can “exchange” with other people. This may be due to learning (exchange of information, textbooks and materials), and travel events (birthdays, movies, sports), something fun.

You may need approval to feel that you’re right. Hence a strong concern about what others think and say. Sometimes this problem is associated with relationships in school if you were bullied, ignored, and come up with nasty nicknames. Or the reason may be hiding in family relationships, when someone important (parents, sister, brother) you have not received support, but on the contrary – heard insults or derogatory words. You could have someone to manipulate, intimidate, accuse (false guilt). Then you should look into this issue. Sense of self-worth, significance you must create within yourself, to grow as a tree. I recommend to read and try exercises from books Sandomierz.

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