Today, the twenty-first typewriter in the children’s “garage” is not considered a whim of the child – with the current diversity, it is difficult for parents to confine themselves to two models.
They do not stint on toys not only from boundless love for their children, but also because in their own childhood there were no Barbie dolls, real police cars and bright designers. But often modern children are interested in very different toys. How to choose them for your baby, so that they develop, rather than cause complexes in the child, learned the correspondent of SE.
With the fact that children in principle should play into something, today no one argues. After all, scientists have long proven that in all the cubs – both animals and human – nature requires a game: for the child is the main way to know the world. At each stage, since infancy, toys perform certain functions in the development of the baby.
Rules of the game
“If we consider the issue at the very beginning, then the toy for the child is a substitute for the parent,” says psychologist of the Insight clinic Lyudmila Yurganova. – The first toy that a child receives is a nipple, a substitute for my mother’s breast, some kind of relationship with my mother. Having received a pacifier, the child feels calm. Just like later, he feels calm, satisfying his needs, for example, in sounds with the help of a rattle or warm with a soft toy. ” When the baby grows up, he begins to copy the behavior of adults, embodying it in games. Even later, toys acquire a different meaning, become part of role-playing games: they talk, enter into some kind of relationship.
At each stage of the development of a child, toys have a value for them, which is why it is so important to choose them in accordance with the level of its development.
“Toys should be adequate to the age of the child,” says the teacher and psychologist at the Anima Center Elena Razumovskaya. – If you buy a baby doll, the maximum that he will do is, for example, sucking her pen. Do not buy him a game that he can not play. ”
The main criterion in choosing toys is the child’s interest in them, but what if the child does not interest them at all? For example, prefers books or drawing? As Lyudmila Yurganova explains, for a child under 12 this is quite normal: “This means that he has just another subject of games, he plays with himself. For a small child, this is more likely to say that he is given a lot of time, since he has already learned how to draw and read, and has instilled interest in these studies.
Do not worry about it. ” But, according to the psychologist, this does not mean that the baby does not need to learn something else, namely communication. Parents must necessarily walk with him, show how to make acquaintances, establish contact with other children. Otherwise, the child at 12 and 16 will not learn to interact with people and the surrounding world, will be closed,
It happens that children are still interested in toys, but not at all by what they should. What if the boy enjoys playing dolls with more pleasure than with the typewriters? Psychologists are sure that this in itself can not happen, and the reason is that one of the parents encourages such behavior. “The psychological sex of the child is asked by adults, explaining what the boys are playing, and what are the girls,” Elena Razumovskaya is sure. – After all, children imitate their parents. And if the boy starts playing dolls, you can not prohibit, you must first understand why he does it. Perhaps the parents really wanted the girl and behave so that the son feels their approval, when, for example, he plays with the doll. ”
The reason may be that the boy simply does not have machines or surrounded by some girls. If a girl plays a typewriter, maybe her mother often takes her with her and discusses some questions about her car. Lyudmila Yurganova believes that in this case, you just need to direct the child, give the opportunity to watch other children of her gender. Or, for example, invite a boy not just to play with his sister in dolls, but to drive them by car, build a city for them.
But the gender “discrepancy” between the child and toys is not so common. Much more often, boys choose the opposite, too man’s toys: weapons, monsters, supermen. Parents are afraid that such toys can be harmful, but they are forced to buy them, because the child does not want others. Just refusing to buy, the problem can not be solved, it is necessary to understand why a child loves precisely “terrible” toys. Elena Razumovskaya believes that the reason may be a lack of attention: with the help of a vampire mask the child wants to frighten the mother so that she will notice him at last.
According to Lyudmila Yurganova, if a child chooses monsters with large muscles, teeth, most likely, he does not feel protected, and parents should pay attention to it.
But not always games with monsters are bad, because if a girl uses such a toy just like a doll-boy, there’s nothing to worry about. It is important to humanize the monster, to give emotions, to translate from superheroes to the category of simple characters. Also there is nothing wrong with playing with weapons. “Children who played out as a child in childhood, in adulthood, will not need a real weapon to prove their strength,” says Elena Razumovskaya.
Among the popular toys today are not just monsters, but superheroes of various cartoons and computer games. Children spend a lot of time at screens and monitors. And this can adversely affect their psyche. “In most fantasy cartoons and games, there are some superhumans,” says Lyudmila Yurganova.
This is too difficult for the child’s psyche, because he can not distinguish a fairy tale from reality and associates himself with a superhero. As a result, the level of self-esteem is distorted and the requirements to oneself are reduced: “I’m already omnipotent, why should I strive for something?”
Up to the second class, it is better to avoid such games and films. ” Different “shooters” can also badly affect the psyche of the baby, because a child can not tell the hero of the toy from a real person and, perhaps, will want to just as cruelly deal with offenders in life.
“Of course, now there are developing programs for children and computer games aimed at developing attention, learning letters, numbers,” says Elena Razumovskaya. – But still they can be present in the life of children as auxiliary, and not as basic, and parents should control the time spent at the TV and computer, as well as the choice of cartoons and games. Even the viewing of good children’s tales should be limited – constant sitting at the screen affects sight and posture, distracts from other games, books.”
One of the questions that worries young parents is the number of toys a child needs. Psychologists say that they should not be small, otherwise the kid will try to play people and will be nervous in case of refusal. But you can not ask for a child, thus trying to pay off from it. After all, with a teddy bear, it will never be as peaceful as with a dad, and no computer program will teach you to read better than your mother.