07.03.2021

How to tell your friend that don’t like causing pain?

I have a friend. He’s great, honey. The problem is in the factthat he’s in love with me, and I in him. I want to admit, but I’m afraid to hurt him, not letting go.

Zoe, 19 years old

Как сказать другу, что не люблю, не причинив боли?

Unrequited love is never painless. If the relationship is not symmetric, then sooner or later it will show up. Perhaps delayed recognition will bring other more suffering than if you talk to him now.

Think about what is behind your “don’t release”. What to release or not to release for you? Not very good when we see in man only a kind of function. For people it is very painful to find that they were not important in themselves, but only to fulfill some kind of function in our life.

Another question that you should ask yourself: what emotions you are meant to save other when do not clarify your feelings towards him? Think maybe these experiences would be very valuable in his maturation? If the person you are closest to, shouldn’t you be honest with him?

On the other hand, you can think that your friend is able to assess what your relationship to him “enough.” For some reason he continues to be friends and in no hurry to clarify what is happening between you. In any case, if you think that you are doing something wrong to him, it is better to talk to.

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