18.05.2021

How to tell my mom that her father died?

My mom is more than a year in jail, she is under investigation for economic crimes. During this time her father died. We didn’t tell her not to aggravate her condition. Nearing the conclusion of the case, I hope to go home soon. How to tell her about what happened? I’m afraid that it will take all the blame. Worried about her condition – so much stress, turmoil…

Arina, 23 years

Как рассказать маме, что ее отец умер?

Arina, Hello! Your family was a difficult period, I wish you that it ended, so my mom came home. You decided to protect her from suffering in a situation where it is very difficult when it lacks the freedom and opportunity to do anything about it.

Of course, it is in any case will meet with the truth, she would have to endure the loss of her father. You can empathize with her, to be there to support you probably had all this time. But you can’t fully protect the mother from the incident. It was her father that was her destiny that has developed in this way.

His death at this time could be a coincidence, might not be. There’s nothing that can’t be done. It is important for you to accept that death happens, sooner or later we’ll meet. You all have to accept what happened because of turmoil and stress has fallen to your lot is not less than the share of the mother. It will be important to recover all, not just her. What words to choose? Just tell me what happened. Of course, have to explain why you didn’t tell her sooner. But the answer you already have.

And then you it is important to allow yourself to live your life not believing that you must continue to make important decisions for family members. You need to allow yourself to be a daughter (though adult) and not “mother” my mom – when the horrors of detention will be left behind.

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