I’m content with being single

Valentine’s Day makes remembering the latter hard because even those with the strongest sense of single self can’t ignore the marketing being shoved down our throats around the 14th of February. 

Dating apps tell us to hurry and swipe right, so that someone will go halves on a ‘three courses for £21’ deal at Prezzo. Lingerie brands fill our inboxes screaming ‘make him fall in love with you by wearing this red g-string’.

Flower stalls start to exclusively sell a dozen roses, that glare ominously at you when you get off the tube. All of this is to say, it’s understandable if you have a wobble – even if for 364 days of the year you’re happily dating yourself. It’s all very heteronormative, commercialised and anti-self-love; having a day to celebrate love is nothing to turn our noses up at, but it’s the *way* we do it that needs modernising. Whether you’re in a relationship, casually dating, or uninterested in romantic love- the pressure we put on Friday the 14th to be ‘perfect’ is unattainable.

I’m happily single. No, that isn’t a typo. I didn’t mean ‘happily married’ or ‘happily dating’. I’m content with being single, because how can I feel incomplete if I’m whole to begin with? The idea that we need someone to mend us implies brokenness I don’t believe exists – of course, romantic relationships are wonderful, glorious things but they aren’t the be-all and end-all, and they sure as hell don’t make me feel less worthy.

There’s no such thing as a perfectly romantic date, a perfectly empowering Galentine’s Day brunch, or a perfectly melodramatic single night-in crying whilst eating ice cream. We are expected by society to plop nicely into our allocated slots. No deviating from the plan, thank you very much.

So, politely, f*ck that. Rather than another listicle of the best romantic getaways or a patronising single ladies’ events, here are the things we should be *actually* focusing on this V-Day.


Self-love isn’t just for single women, it’s for everyone – we all deserve to feel good, take care of ourselves and have some TLC. Sure, go on a nice date with your significant other on Valentine’s Day, but also slot in some time for yourself – what makes *you* feel good? We focus so much on the pleasure of others around this day, and neglect ourselves. Hint: order yourself a new sex toy, have a hot bath, and give yourself an orgasm.

Having a Healthy Relationship

Every Valentine’s Day one of your pals will break up with their partner. It’s just the rules. One year, in 2013, I was that person. And here’s my theory as to why it happens: images of happy couples are shoved in our faces for the week leading up, then on the night when you’re out for dinner, you think every other couple is *so* much more in love than you. It shines a spotlight on all the ugly parts of your relationship, and holds up a magnifying glass to the issues you’ve been trying to suppress.

That isn’t a bad thing.

Yes, it’s painful – but 9/10 Valentine’s Day breakups stick (don’t quote me on that, I’ve made that statistic up). If you break up on the most romantic day of the year, chances are that you’re unhappy and in a toxic relationship – if it gets to the point that you can’t even stick on a brave face whilst eating a carbonara over candlelight, then chances are things are seriously wrong.

On the flip side, if you can make it through all the V-Day bullshit, then you’ve probably found a keeper.

Platonic Friendship

Platonic friendships get overlooked, sometimes. They are our bread and butter, and form our chosen families. Friends are in it for the long run, and will probably outlive a large percentage of your relationships. Galentine’s Day tried to do this, but ended up transforming into a slightly sexist trope – where’s Guylentine’s Day, WHERE IS IT PEOPLE?!

However, the sentiment is one to be kept, on the 14th of February pop a text to the people who make your life a little brighter, and tell them you love them. It’s a small gesture, but I guarantee it’ll make someone who’s struggling feel much better.

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