06.07.2022

It Took Excruciating And Unbearable Pain, But I’ve Finally Found Myself

One of the hardest things that I had to go through was losing you. The pain was excruciating and unbearable. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I never knew that love could hurt that much.

In the process of loving you, I’ve lost myself. I fell so away from my true nature that I didn’t know who I was anymore. It took many days, nights, tears, and courage to finally admit that the person I was with you wasn’t my true self. I became someone else. I became a person who gave up anything to please you. I was bending over backward for you, loving you and caring for you only to realize that no matter what I do, I will never be good enough for you.

I was molding myself to your needs that I failed to realize that I was losing myself at the same time. I guess that’s why my whole world crashed down when you left me. I was so empty that I couldn’t bear another loss.

My hopes, dreams, and future plans were all including you – the person who broke my heart, shattered my hopes, and never looked back.

I hated myself for allowing you to hurt me like that. Now, I understand that you were only a lesson along the way, and you had to break me like that in order to become who I am today.

Because it took heartbreak, tears, and numbing pain to realize that I desperately needed to find myself again and understand that pain is temporary, but the person we are at the core is what determines our entire destiny.

I took feeling lonely and abandoned, the loneliest I could ever feel, to realize that I will never find my happiness until I became myself again. And I am thankful for every step towards the way of reinventing myself and becoming stronger than ever.

And now, all I want to say is THANK YOU. Thank you for opening my eyes and forcing me to change my old habits.

Thank you, because now I won’t allow anyone to walk over me. I will never again make the mistake of pleasing and doing everything for the other person while forgetting about myself and my needs.

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