How to refuse sex, not to offend a man and keep a relationship

There are several things that the overwhelming majority of men react very painfully, one of them is the female rejection of sex. Apparently, in order to save men from such torments, last year in Afghanistan they passed a law allowing husbands not to feed their wives, in case they dared to refuse them sex.

Say, who does not work – he does not eat. Fortunately, most of our women can feed themselves, so allow yourself to refer to the headache, turn away and fall asleep.

Why men are so tormented when women have a headache, and how to abandon intimacy so as not to offend a man, SHE correspondents learned.

Thanks for the thanks

The excuse about the headache remains in the lead not only with us, but also abroad (of course, where people do not lose provisions for refusal). Before it, only two items – “I’m tired” and “I’m not in the mood”, reports the British newspaper Daily Mail. The top ten reasons for refusing are “I have to get up early tomorrow” and “Children will hear”, and “You need to take a shower”. In fact, for banal phrases there are other reasons – there are many of them, we will describe only the most common ones.

According to the sexologist of the medical center “Avicenna” Elena Belova, it can be a different temperament and different needs for sex or lack of orgasm in a woman. In addition, we are really tired, and sometimes we really have a headache.

The lack of a psychological attitude can destroy any desire, including sexual desire. “A man can have sex after an argument, but the woman does not,” says sexologist Lyubov Nesterova.

– Women should have some kind of message and a desire to have sex. Often women have sex from gratitude: for a gift, for a good attitude, for the fact that a man did something about the house. ” 

If the house shines with purity, the husband is generous with a gift, and desires still do not arise, perhaps it’s a matter of depression. “The frequent reason for refusing sex is the depressed state of a woman, the most characteristic is after childbirth, when a woman becomes a mother, she refuses sex, and gradually this refusal becomes a habit,” says Igor Poperechny.

Take a pause

It is quite another matter if a girl refuses to have sex at the very beginning of a relationship. According to Elena Belova, it can be either in the case when a man does not attract as a sexual object, or she simply maintains a certain pause. Igor Transverse agrees with his colleague: “It happens that a woman deliberately tightens with the partner the beginning of sexual relations, so that a man will achieve longer. The reason may also be that a woman meets a man to maintain her status. She does not want to sleep with him, she just waits behind his back. ”

Female intuitive desire to postpone intimacy from the first date to at least the second found an excuse in the research of specialists. British scientists – perhaps the most curious scientists in the world – are sure that this step is a natural selection, such a step at times reduces the risks of linking oneself with a relationship with an unworthy person. More reliable men, in their opinion, are ready to wait, and those who are too rushing events often stop their relations without achieving their goals.

The Mechanism of Influence

If once the higher forces distributed the mechanisms of influence, then men were given money, and about women they obviously forgot. I had to wriggle out – as a result, such a mechanism became access to the body. According to eyewitnesses, this method is still relevant and popular.

“What in our time can a woman affect a man?” Asks Lyubov Nesterova, a rhetorical question. And she herself answers: “In the main bed, it was, in general, in all ages. 

It is a mechanism for obtaining some kind of material and non-material pleasures. A man is more active, he is more often the initiator of sexual relations. And since there are very few mechanisms to influence a man, a woman often uses this. ” As a result, there is a real blackmail – the guilty man is blocked by access to the coveted resource. According to Elena Belova, this behavior is typical of the hysterical-demonstrative type of women, when a woman actively demonstrates that she is offended, which means that there will not be sex today, and she talks about the consumer attitude towards a partner:

“It is absolutely wrong to punish the bed:” Today you were a bad boy, so I’ll punish you. ” If such “punishments” are permanent, then in the end a man may feel rejected and leave. ” 

I was offended

Actually, the phrase “Oh, I’m so tired at work” and the melodic snoring that follows it, too, are being beaten by women’s self-esteem. But the male offense in the reverse situation is much worse. This is how to compare a strong wind and a tornado – the destructive power and danger to nearby people in the second case is much higher. “In principle, a man personifies himself with a penis, so if a man is rejected, this greatly hurts his self-esteem,” Lyubov Nesterova explains.

“For a man, a woman’s refusal is a personal insult,” confirms Igor Poperechny, “because we always want to have.” This is a mandatory condition, but it turns out that a woman refuses – and there is no way to realize it. ” The desire to possess – whether it is territory or a woman – is a quality that is characteristic of men. To achieve this goal, they are ready for much. “A man always wants to be on top, and rejection of a woman is a kind of fiasco. He begins to experience aggression against the person who refused him, “- says Elena Belova.

To prevent an attack of aggression, it’s better to honestly say that you are offended or upset than to claim a mythical ailment. But the most important thing in this business is the lack of regularity. “In order not to offend a man with a refusal, it is necessary that there should be no regularity and consistency in refusals. And the second moment is a frank talk about this, and then the man normally perceives a refusal, – Igor Poperechny believes.

“But in any case – if these refusals are systematic, then no conversations will help.” This can not be that the relationship is good, but there is no sex. “

Most experts believe that the physical ailment often referred to by women is mostly an excuse, an indicator of the unwillingness of one’s partner. The most dangerous thing is that such a scenario of behavior can become a habit. If this happens, it is worthwhile to figure out what this is connected with. If you are really worried about something, intimacy, according to the assurances of sexologists, can work wonders. “Sex is an anesthetic, and if there is an orgasm, the headache goes by itself, even invalids of the first group can engage in sex,” Lyubov Nesterova assures. – Why to refuse a man in sex? Sex work is not so burdensome, in principle, to deny each other. Of course, with an attack of appendicitis you will not have sex, but in another case, there is no sense. “

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