Hands down, ventriloquist dummies are the creepiest things on earth

You know what I’ll never understand? Why old-timey, vintage ventriloquist dummies were so goddamned creepy looking. Was it that difficult in the good old days to make them look natural? It’s already bad enough that a doll is talking to me, but he’s gotta look like a fucking demon zombie while he’s cracking vaudeville jokes in a creepy voice?

Glad I live in a time where ventriloquist dummies aren’t really a thing, or if they are, they’re tame-looking like Jeff Dunham’s Bubba J or that fluffy pink thing from America’s Got Talent.

Those, I can handle.

I dunno what’s going on here, but I’d sit through it.

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