The main thing – feelings
Sex lost its old good breeding function. We began to live longer than our ancestors and intimate life acquired its special status, where the desire to give birth to children was replaced by a desire to have fun. You can find a lot of reasons why sex in your life has become insipid, dull or disappeared altogether. Age, sores, crying baby, after all. In this case, you can find a huge number of couples who enjoy their intimate life, regardless of the length of family life, headache and infants. There is an opinion that sexual interest is lost on average after two years of permanent relationships. True, according to sexologists, the loss of interest in this extremely important part of life does not depend on the time spent together.
“Of course, it’s not a fact that spouses necessarily lose sexual interest to each other. But the effect of novelty passes. In this case, sexual interest can support affection, respect from partners, – says the sexologist of the medical center “Avicenna” Elena Belova. “For sexual interest, it’s important how partners treat each other, their life values.” According to sexologist Igor Poperechny, external causes also do not have much significance:
“The inability of everyday conditions is not the most important, because if people have an interest in each other, they find the opportunity to be with each other. If the partners say they are bored with each other, then this is the absence of feelings. ”
Come on, girls.
The modern man does not have enough women’s skills and skills – society requires that a woman watches herself: went to the gym, dressed beautifully, read Kafka and had her own opinion on the situation in Iraq. “It happens that women in marriage relax, develop their feminine nature one-sidedly. For example, they go headlong into the household, raise children and can already afford to appear before a man in old coats with traces of borsch, forgetting to brush their hair on the weekends, – describes frequent male complaints Tatyana Pakhomova, founder of the geisha school “Taisha” . – Kind, I will say frankly, not sexually exciting. And so the man answers the same – he walks around the house wearing leotards with elongated knees and worn-out slippers. “
Often during walks around the house in a tights such a man complains about his unhappy life: do not involve, they say, you make me, Lyuska, get fat, you go to dressing gowns, you do not read books. From the pages of magazines and TV screens, women are encouraged not to relax and combine the incompatible ones: playfully wink at the husband after sleepless nights with the child; make a significant contribution to the family budget, without being late at work; meet him with pies, hastily pulling on sexy underwear.
“There is an opinion that a woman should be some kind of special from nails to teeth, so that it would be interesting for a partner. But that a woman does not cause sexual interest, it should be extremely disgusting, –
advocates the weak sex Igor Transverse. – Therefore, when a man says that his wife does not attract him, then this is a speculative state and a consumer attitude towards a woman: “You must stand on your ears, you must make dizzying pas for me to have an erection penis,” this behavior of a man shows his limitations “.
What to do?
If your man does not go to tights, does not show his limitations and generally a good guy, you can try to revive the extinct sexual interest.
• Look for new
It is not necessary to change cardinally the appearance or to drag the spouse to the roof to have sex. To the novelty, you can move in small steps – gradually changing something in your life. “What is routine? This is when everything is familiar, predictable. We need to fill our lives with events so that it is interesting, “says Elena Belova. In addition, you will kill another hare – something to change in your life is actually very interesting and exciting.
• Write letters
To adjust the man to the right way, Tatyana Pakhomova recommends periodically changing something directly in the zone of love – in the bedroom: “Add colors and variety in bed linens, change the paintings that hang in the bedroom for years more romantic and erotic, indulge in various flavors. A stunning erotic surprise can be made to a partner on his birthday – a gift certificate for the execution of your erotic fantasy. Write to each other – erotic records, confessions, and leave them in the most unexpected places. ”
• Show interest
It’s an illusion that you know a man like his five fingers. She interferes with showing curiosity, asking questions and being interested. “You need to constantly show interest in your partner, do not wait until someone comes up to you,” Igor Poperechny recommends. – And the more we delve into the smallest details: behavior, aspirations, the more a person becomes interesting to us. And then the person feels that there is interest in him, and also begins to be interested in those who are interested in him. That’s how an alliance arises in the relationship. Thus, the sexual interest is guided by the personality of the partner. ”
• Be a woman
Hardness, stubbornness, perseverance are features traditionally attributed to men. Softness, tenderness, caring – traditionally feminine features. “The most important thing is the distribution of energy. The modern archetype of the superwoman, which manages all and everywhere, unfortunately, makes a woman energetically weak, and in the evening she already often thinks of how to get to bed quickly and fall asleep. It’s not up to exquisite sex, “- says Tatiana Pakhomova. She agrees with Igor Pereperichny: “A man must retain a man’s qualities, and a woman’s women, only this makes you sexual for the opposite sex.”