In women’s complaints about the dishonesty of men there is a drop of hypocrisy. How many of us are ready to alleviate the sufferings of the walking husband and listen to the sinner’s confession?
How many will then shrug their shoulders and silently gather a suitcase without hysterics and scandals? There are fewer of these than those who quietly make printouts of his telephone conversations, looking for long hair on his shirt, but he does not know what to do with the find if it shows up. How the behavior of a man changes, if he changes, and whether it is worth looking for evidence of betrayal, SHE learned.
Attempts to conclude on the topic “changes or not” are similar to trying to figure out whether she likes or just fools her head. In both cases, there can be no obvious signs, so you have to settle for a small – the mysterious expression of a man’s face and other implicit symptoms.
As the knowledgeable people say, it is important to pay attention not so much to the nature of the changes as to the very fact of their availability – it’s silly to blame the man for being shut out and cold if he has never behaved otherwise. So, a few indirect signs that can (the keyword simply “can”) indicate that something is amiss in your kingdom.
1. Avral at work
“Why do you immediately think that I am changing? Just work a lot! “- resented the husband of my friend, who from the idler, adoring his sofa, suddenly turned into a workaholic. With a blond object, over which her husband worked tirelessly, she met only two years later, and until then mournfully remained silent, convincing herself that he was really working. “Working late is also a sign of workaholism,” commented psychologist Arina Podchasova. – “Change” a man can and with a mug of beer, and with a car in the garage.
But in any case, if a man does not hurry home after work, something is wrong here. Either with a man, or with work, or with the family. “
It is worth paying attention to the total amount of time a man spends with you. According to the therapist Maxim Zagoruiko, in the case of treason, it usually decreases significantly: “The grounds for this are quite respectful: work at home, need to help friends, visit parents, a new hobby. Urgent matters appear on holidays. ”
2. New postures
If you believe people’s signs, a man can not live without sex. Therefore, if there is no sex in the family, it is believed that this is a true indicator of the appearance of another woman. This is partly true, but there are other signs. “It’s no secret that married couples very often have sex for once chosen a successful and suiting both patterns. In case of adultery, sex becomes irregular and uneven – in the usual situation the partner gives out unusual emotions, “says Arina Podchasova. For example, a quiet conservative man after 10 years of living together can be taken aback by an unexpected passion or specific suggestions on the topic of new techniques, poses and techniques of sex.
3. Handsome man
With men trying to impress a woman, amazing metamorphosis can occur. Yesterday he had a haircut on a reminder and parted with jeans only at the time of washing, and today flaunts in a suit and tells the barber how exactly he needs to straighten a bang. Any normal person will be surprised. “There may be other reasons – the head made a remark, the public position became obligatory, but most often it is in the woman,” Arina Podchasova believes. – And not necessarily this is treason – for example, the appearance in a male team of a pretty woman has an exhilarating effect on men. ”
The appearance of unexplained irritation is one of the main signs of problems in the relationship. “Irritation is a very characteristic symptom of a traitor, he seeks an excuse for his irritation,” explains Arina Podchasova. – Suddenly, there are new demands – a man tells a woman that she must somehow change. It ceases to suit that which suited before. He expresses his complaints, criticizes, finds fault … “. Trying to cope with his own feelings of guilt, a man can for no reason with this accuse a woman of treason.
“It is possible and the opposite option,” says Maxim Zagoruiko, “because of his guilt and disguise, his warmth, care and attention to you are sharply increasing.”
5. It’s a secret.
Sometimes women, like moles, dig holes, make trenches, trying to make sure that the beloved man is under control. However, it happens that a woman turns into a mole for objective reasons. When the institution where you were an expensive guest, you suddenly are not allowed, I want to find out why. When a man sits for hours in the toilet, armed with a phone, and slams the laptop, just hearing your steps, the same question arises – why?
“He dramatically increased the privacy of his phone and Internet contacts: he set passwords, erases SMS, goes talking on the phone to another room, quickly turns windows in the computer when you come up, does not release his mobile phone from his hand,” – describes in detail the alarming signals Maxim Zagoruiko. And yet, for all the suspicion of the reasons for this behavior may be different. “For some couples, this is the norm. When they are at loggerheads, they are even more closed from each other or are playing games, so that the other is jealous – as soon as they do not reach each other! “- says Arina Podchasova, recalling that a man, like a woman, can hide anything from additional sources of income to insane relatives.
Do not take information as a guide to action – it’s not a secret that too enthusiastic about playing the investigator eventually find what they have been looking for. “Sometimes a spouse treats her marriage as a firefighter: draws attention to the relationship only when the” fire alarm “has triggered – the husband began to change it, – says Maxim Zagoruiko. – In this case, she rushes to “extinguish the fire,” sometimes these actions damage more than from the fire itself. It is more expedient to methodically take care of “fire safety” every day: use “incombustible materials”, “clear passages”, “instruct”, etc. “.