The fact that married men in general are happier than lonely, a fact known. They are richer, healthier, and more engaged in sex – in any case, many studies in this area. Why then do men hurry up to have a wife?
Maybe they do not know what happiness they are prepared for?The women freeze in anticipation and are visibly nervous, trying to see for sentimental phrases the very proposal that can not be abandoned. On how, looking narrowly at the chosen one, to determine that a beautiful wedding with this specimen can not wait, the correspondents learned SHE.
Generally, women are cunning – a man who falls on one knee after the second appointment and yells “I’m getting married!”, Very few people need. Yes, and there are such, fortunately, infrequently.
“I know very little of men who originally build relationships from the intention to create a family by all means,” the psychologist Boris Yenken marvels. – I do not know such people at all. If you do not take into account men with problems who want to have a woman known to be attached to her. Such a family does not usually end with good. ” This happens when, for example, a young man returns from the army and, as usual, finds out that the girl has changed him.
Desperate, he decides to marry anyone, regardless of her appearance and personal qualities. Such situations, according to the psychologist, are by no means a rarity. Nevertheless, reasonable women do not fall for such a bait.
“From men immediately attuned to serious relationships, women usually run like fire,
” says psychologist Arina Podchasova. “It’s suspicious, it’s scary, the woman has not decided yet whether she needs it, and he already has enough for her hands and tells how they will live with him wonderfully.” This is somehow alarming when the events are rushing so much and skipping over the stages of rapprochement. ”
Alarming signs The
reverse situation is also alarming. It seems that it’s time to grab hold of the hands, and if not to fall on your knees, then at least take your eyes off the computer and talk about the future. We have identified five main features that suggest that nothing will change.
1. He offers to wait.Yes, it would be great to save up money to roll a feast with a mountain, to smash guests with a beautiful dress and go on a honeymoon. Yes, it would be nice to pre-purchase an apartment, change jobs, move, improve health – the right thing to emphasize. The same mechanism works here that does not allow you to go to the dentist (in case you do not like to treat your teeth) – literally every day something happens that makes it postpone an ill-fated visit, as a result, the waiting period is delayed.
2. He does not introduce you to friends. “Well, why do you go there? You do not know anybody, it will not be interesting “- if men and show their imagination, then only not in excuses of this kind. Reluctance to introduce friends or attempts to hide your relationship with relatives does not promise anything good.
“If a man does not want to introduce a woman into the circle of close acquaintances – this is a bad sign. If this happens, then the man does not think so long to build a lasting relationship with her.
Because he understands that if his woman enters his social circle, then there are additional connections, “explains the psychologist at the Nika center Tatyana Teper.
3. “A good deed will not be called a marriage.”He believes that only mad people get married and is ready to bring a couple of dozen reasons and as many living examples that confirm his words. Although there is a possibility that a sudden feeling will completely change the beliefs of such a man, it is not worth illusions of embracing yourself. The point here, according to experts, most likely in personal negative experience. And a nod towards friends, as a rule, is no more than an excuse – most often this experience is obtained either in childhood in a parent family, or in a first marriage. In the second case, it is not easier to reverse the situation than in the first.
4. He’s my mother.He still in difficult situations appeals to the closest person, and it’s not you. Mom in his fate is still “the main word”. According to experts, affection for parents is one of the main signs that a man does not want or is not ready to marry. “If a man enters into a relationship, but does not want to register and develop them and, in fact, does not want to create his own family and live his life, that means he is included in some other relationship. And most often – it’s a relationship with the parent family, he is involved in emotional relationships with his mother, such men are also called “mother’s mother”, – says Tatiana Teper. “Or vice versa – the relationship with my mother is negative in terms of the intensity of emotions, but it is included in them.”
5. He is not ready for marriage … with you. The fact that a person is able to think before deciding to take a responsible step is already worthy of respect. Equally frankness deserves frankness – when a man without grimaces and jumps honestly says: not ready, they say. There may be many reasons, but, alas, there are not those among them that inspire hope.
“Often a man does not marry, because he wants to remain free, like an eternally young man. From his point of view, marriage with everyday obligations for him routine, this is evidence of emotional immaturity,
– says Tatiana Teper. The other reason is the most unpleasant, it literally lies on the surface, but if you have love, you admit this is the last thing. “A man can explain that while morally not ready for a wedding. But most of the time it says one thing: he is not ready to marry YOU, you do not fit him. It is necessary to appear another woman who fits in everything to him, he will not be hampered by either reasonable arguments or moral unpreparedness “, – finally destroys all illusions of Arin Podchasov.
If you want, you can find a lot of ready-made recipes on the topic of “how to quickly marry him” – from provocative behavior to supposedly accidental pregnancy. But before embarking on all serious, it is worth asking yourself the question – just not “how?”, But “why?”. Children’s dream of a white dress and wedding photos in “Classmates” do not cost a lost time and a painful divorce.