In the Maslow’s pyramid of needs, the need to multiply stands beside the desire to eat. However, we do not perceive reluctance much more calmly than sudden coldness to the sexual component of life.
And although in our age of enlightenment the offensive term frigidity is almost not used today, this situation is extremely unpleasant.
Where the desire disappears, which is the basis of all human needs, the correspondent of SHE found out together with the specialists.
The first place among all the reasons when a woman does not want to have sex, experts give offense to a partner. As psychologists say, a woman, unlike a man, the mechanism of the appearance of an attraction is different – it is tuned in the first place to relationships.
While the relationship suits her – she is satisfied with sex. And vice versa – the desire for sex disappears at a time when the number of claims and grievances exceeds the individual limit. So, if there is coldness in bed, usually it is worth looking into the head – what exactly has stopped you from arranging. This is a universal advice.
Having started to drink contraceptives, some women get a very unexpected contraceptive effect: sexual desire disappears. As recalled by the therapist Maxim Zagoruiko, this is due to the fact that hormonal contraceptives lower the level of testosterone in the female body, and this hormone is responsible for the intensity of the libido.
But you do not need to panic. Libido may decrease at the beginning of admission, but completely recover after a few months. If this does not happen – you need to consult your gynecologist for replacement of the contraceptive – good, today a great choice.
Sadness and loneliness
According to Natalia Serazetdinova, Gestalt therapist of the Sibneyromed Center, if a woman has no partner for a long time, she can begin to give up her sexuality in general.
Inability to establish relationships and problems with men creates a vicious circle: it is difficult to talk about sex, it is difficult to deal with, and in the end – it even ceases to want.
Reducing libido is a classic symptom of depression, recalls Maxim Zagoruiko. With a constantly bad mood a woman becomes not up to sex. And if the “bad mood” is neglected, nothing good will come of it. The only way out is to treat depression, and better without pills, because antidepressants often themselves reduce sexual desire. So it’s better not to pull until the circle is locked.
Hypertension, coronary heart disease, diabetes, thyroid diseases, gynecological diseases, which are accompanied by pain in sex, is an incomplete list of diseases that are directly related to a decrease in libido. “Anything that provokes suffering does not contribute to sexuality,” Natalia Serazetdinova sums up, reminding of the most popular mechanism for abandoning unwanted sex – headache. The best reason to give up sex, if it is something unpleasant, is getting sick. These are questions of psychosomatic medicine, and one should not forget about them.
Sometimes the craving disappears “according to the instructions” to the tablets, if a woman takes some hypotensive (reducing pressure), soothing, diuretic and some other drugs. Therefore, you need to read the package and ask the doctor for a replacement if the medicine is drunk on a regular basis.
In winter, sometimes you want to sleep more than multiply. And this is due biologically: in the cold and dark seasons, the production of major hormones decreases. Most suffer from thyroid gland. And she, as Natalia Serazetdinova reminded, answers almost all endocrine processes in the body.
The level of sex hormones decreases, the sexual attraction recedes into the background. According to the expert, such a “hibernation” is observed in all regions where it is cold, rainy and dark.
Winter vacations or an exciting winter activity will help here: inveterate alpinists are hardly crocked with snow and yearn for these six months.
An irregular working day helps a little. “With a 12-hour workday, sexuality is extinguished by itself, it is redirected to some social achievements, and a person is tired”, – Natalia Serazetdinova recalls what Freud called sublimation.
Monks knew about sublimation: the natural needs of physiology are best suppressed by a large amount of labor, Maxim Zagoruiko recalled. If you are not a supporter of asceticism, then you will have to learn to cope with stress and properly organize the regime of the day. And remember: on vacation at the warm sea in many women, the problem of lack of sexual desire evaporates with the first drops of the sea.
Girls are often complaining about a weak inclination. “A young woman still does not know her body well and does not know how to use it, and the hormonal background can be unstable. In this period of her life, she is more concerned not with sex, but with professional growth and the search for a more or less permanent partner, “Maxim Zagoruiko believes.
Regular sex, learning your body and reliable contraception are the ingredients of success. And also – patience. “Often a woman blossoms after childbirth, by the age of 30, motherhood makes a woman more self-confident, she accumulates life experience and disappears the underlying fear of unwanted pregnancy,” Natalia Serazetdinova lists the criteria for growing up.
Problems with self-esteem
The last but important point. If a woman feels not beautiful enough, her body is not attractive enough to strip him when having sex, even with the most sensitive partner, it will be difficult for her to develop sexuality and not be afraid of her needs. And women who love themselves, are unlikely to exhaust themselves with empty experiences, if suddenly they want to relax and direct their sexual energy into creativity, for example, or once again get a good night’s sleep.