08.03.2021

Friend does not like the holidays How to help him?

A close friend returned from the army. Last year and a half during the holidays, he was either on guard duty or on maneuvers, and now hates them, even the New year. I really want to help him, to make sure that he again learned to enjoy them.

Maria, 20 years

Друг не любит праздники, Как ему помочь?

For many the holidays is not fun. Someone is leaving, not to celebrate a birthday, someone declares that for him the New year – the usual day off, and stressed sceptical about the fuss. Such demonstrative behavior always hidden challenge, a manifestation of emotional sovereignty, active unwillingness to experience the “required” feeling.

Ignoring the holidays, your friend screams: “I know that life is harsh and unfair, and all these your nonsense is not for me.” You look at him as a victim of “harsh reality”, which you must return the ability to enjoy, to share with family warmth, decorate the tree and come up with surprises.

You want to help, but if he needs your involvement and whether he is able to share your feelings? The behavior of each is present not only a challenge but also pose: do you want me to happy holidays, you and try. And you try very hard. But he’s not a child who needs comforting.

A bleak attitude to holidays he chose himself and seems to insist on it. The real reason of his behavior not in military experience, something happened much earlier. In the past, but it has to do with his inability to be with others, to share with them the joy and good mood. And when people do not and do not want, it becomes hard not only during the holidays.

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