You never participate in contests, do not get acquainted on the Internet and do not wear heels. And why? Because all of the above is a bad end: in a competition, no matter how primitive it was, you will not win anything, a small and pimply virtual stranger will come to see you, and heels have a habit of breaking at the most inopportune moment.
Such fate is unhappy. You have already reconciled with the universal injustice, so do not be surprised that your lazy colleague is promoted, and you have been sitting in the same place for the fifth year, and the fact that your new friend preferred your girlfriend. Just out of luck. Heck!
We act according to our desires, set goals, but we also react to what the world around us is giving us in return.
The question is, how do we feel about this? Do we consider the events to be the legitimate consequences of our efforts or the interference of external forces (be it Fate, Luck or Lord God)? There are many approaches to this issue. For example, existentialists are sure that our life is the result of our own actions.
Supporters of determinism recommend accepting that sometimes there are troubles, and treat it calmly. It is very convenient to believe that all positive events happen thanks to our efforts, and all the muck is the tricks of destiny-villain. True, some are prone to blame themselves for their misfortunes, and to attribute good luck to everything good.
But why does Fortune favor one and ignore others? Perhaps it’s not just mysticism?
Many lucky people are deeply convinced that as such there is simply no luck. Great people do not complain about the lack of luck(Ralph Waldo Emerson, American writer).
Foreign psychologists conducted a funny study. Participants were given newspapers and asked to count all the photos. On the third page of the newspaper in large print the following was written: “Stop counting! Here are 43 photos. ”The inscription was next to the photo, so there was no doubt that the subjects saw it.
A few pages later, one could come across another inscription. It read: “Stop counting! Tell the researcher what you saw, and earn 150 pounds! “What did the lucky ones do? They, laughing, informed the researcher about their findings and even asked about the promised fee. However, those who are accustomed to bad luck, did not pay the slightest attention to the inscription.
In all life’s affairs, fate, which always seeks to show us its power and humiliate our arrogance, but can not make incapable people wise, gives them reason and good fortune. (Michelle Montaigne, French writer)
Feel the difference
We are taught to take the process seriously, to concentrate and to purposefully go to the goal, without distraction and without looking around. But in fact there are plenty of possibilities around. And if you go in the same direction for years, you will miss a lot of chances. Luckies often have a lot of options, in their lucky heads a lot of plans are rummaging, and if one does not work, then there are at least fifteen in the reserve. Unlucky do not catch the moment and, not finding their fate at the party, go home, instead of making new acquaintances. But they could become your close friends, elp in work or eventually get acquainted with their older brothers.
Unlucky often do not listen to their intuition: when making a decision, they are guided only by fear of failure. Luckies, on the other hand, believe in the inner voice and often act completely irrationally from the traditional point of view.
It happens that everything works out. Do not worry, it will pass. (Jules Renard, French writer)
Unlucky people are afraid of the new – they go to work on the same road, on weekends they walk in the same places, they choose the same type of people for communication. The variety does not frighten the lucky ones. They get acquainted with different people, explore new routes and are not afraid of making mistakes in making decisions. This pattern of behavior increases the likelihood of a favorable outcome of events.
Do not forget about the mood. Lucky people often try to find a positive in any situation. Do you remember the anecdote about the twins, one of whom was an optimist and the other a pessimist? Wise parents to equalize their children, prepared gifts for the New Year: a pessimist – a wooden horse, and an optimist – a pile of horse manure.
In the morning the children wake up. Pessimist: “Well, the horse … Little, and I wanted a big … Brown, and I wanted gray … Wooden, and I wanted to live …” Optimist: “And I have a living! Only ran away! “
That’s why those who are not lucky regularly fall and groan, and the lucky ones, laughing cheerfully, rejoice that they were still alive. By the way, experts argue that luck or pathological bad luck manifests itself in childhood itself. Probably, in each class there was a lucky pet who managed to answer the teacher’s question, without looking at the textbook for a week, and the unlucky who diligently taught, but earned only the “three”.
It ‘stime to restore justice and catch the Bluebird by the tail. Let the dramatic stories remain in the past!
1. A few steps higher. “The view from the bottom is not the most convenient and encouraging. He has a tendency to kill ambition, “writes Napoleon Hill in his famous book The Law of Success. – We accept our fate, getting used to the daily routine, and this habit becomes so strong that we do not aspire to anything. Therefore, it is worth starting not from the very bottom, but several steps higher. ”In this case, you can distract from your unhappy past, look around, look at how other people achieve their goals, and finally find a couple of good opportunities.
Who believes in his luck, is lucky. (Christian Friedrich Goebbel, German playwright)
2. The weather is with you. “We are proactive in nature,” Stephen Covey wrote in his best-selling book, “7 Skills of Highly Effective People,” and if our life is determined by learning and external conditions, it is because we allow these things to control us. ”Making such a choice, we become reactive, and therefore extremely vulnerable. “If the people around are well, we are normal, if not, we take offense and take a defensive position. Proactive people are carrying their own weather. Whether it’s raining, whether the sun is shining, it does not matter to them. ”Reacting to an external stimulus, be guided by your values - let the troubles become an occasion for reflection and conclusions, and not for tears and accusations.
3. Stop counting. Remember the study with photos in the newspaper? Unfortunately, often we continue to count, missing your chance. Do not be afraid – turn aside, master new, improve and listen to yourself. Let your inner voice, lulled by habits and fears, wake up and prompt the path to a new life without failures. This does not mean that you will not encounter negative. This means that you will learn how to respond to it differently.
When good luck turns your back on you, then look at others who are forced to tighter. (Cato the Elder)
4. Bronze Joy. Imagine that you are fighting for a medal at the Olympics. You try your best, perform well and win a bronze medal. Now imagine yourself at the next Olympics. This time you perform even better and win a silver medal. What do you think, in which case will you be more happy? Most believe that “silver” will fill us with more joy. And here not. According to the research, bronze medalists are more happy. This is because, having won “silver”, you think: here’s another little bit and you could get “gold. ”The psychology of “bronze” is quite different: a small mistake – and you would not have won anything at all. Roughly speaking, in case of trouble, think about what could be worse.
Mark Twain, known for his wit, remarked: “Once in life Fortune knocks at the door of every man, but a man at this time often sits in the nearest pub and does not hear a knock. ”Tune in to a positive wave, try something new and be careful. Do you hear? It’s knocking your luck.