05.12.2021

Divorce lawyers reveal the most ridiculous reason their client filed for divorce 14, Photos

Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.

I had two couples come to me.

They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.

The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.

The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me altogether, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.

A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier. -atonyatlaw

Not a divorce lawyer, but there’s this famous case that all law students know about. The wife asked for an annulment of marriage, because almost a year into the marriage, they still haven’t had sex. The husband has been avoiding it for almost a year, and later on the court found out that he actually only has a 2-inch penis. -xueexin

I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee…for seven years. -BlankSmitty

He didn’t help her put up a shower curtain. It may have been a straw that broke the camel’s back situation though. -Abogada77

  

My neighbor filed for divorce because he smacked his lips when he ate and slurped his coffee and soup. She thought if she didn’t she would end up in jail for battery. -mollymuppet78

My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using “too much tp.” -dizzylyingdown

I had a soldier stationed at Guantanamo Bay that met a local. Fell madly in love. They decided to get married so she could come with him back in the states once his tour was done.

She was working on American dishes, and was making spaghetti. He comes home from work one day, and she’s making it. She puts the meat in, puts the canned sauce in, and then pulls an unlabeled bag out of the freezer and adds it to the sauce.

At this point in the session she’s hysterically crying with broken spanglish. She’s trying to explain she didn’t know any better. Through the hysteria he informs me her mother and grandmother told her if she wanted to keep her man, she needed to put her menstrual blood in his food. It was so hard to keep my composure. I was trying to hard not to gag.

They both described they were madly in love, but he couldn’t let it go. They ended up getting a divorce. -Palatron

He loved his pinball machine collection more than her. Also it turns out some pin ball machines can be worth a shit load of money. -stervenjerbs

My dad split with my mom because “she takes too long to tell a story”. -sixtiesqueeen

Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they’d rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day. -WutWutWutTF

One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn’t want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy. -RavenHairBeauty

My mother in law divorced my father in law so she could have “a fresh start with her dream job of teaching blind children to read.”

Turns out, what she meant by that was:

• Destroy my father in law’s pastor career by telling everyone he was abusive.

• Got married to the guy she’d secretly been carrying on with. He’s a convicted child sex offender. She has grandchildren.

She’s in a state of complete denial. -tornfamily89

Estates Paralegal here! Saw a divorce where the defendant stopped cooking, and when the petitioner gave the defendant money for food (80’s, so was phrased as “housekeeping money”), the defendant would disappear for two weeks and play bingo. The defendant also ‘Lost interest in the child”

The bingo comment and stopping cooking comment will forever be ingrained in my head.

Not a lawyer, but a friend of mine divorced her husband because his dick was too big. They were dating about six months, got a courthouse wedding and separated about six months after. She said it was fun at first but the sex became “too much work”. She said it took a lot of preparation. Apparently, as well, he was pushing for some butt stuff.

When she first told me off-hand, I refused to believe it. She showed me a picture of them dancing at their reception and holy shit was this guy packing heat. -PantiesMallone

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